.: s a m U e l ' s b l o g ::

It's Been a Long While...

2009-10-21T16:24:00.001+08:00

Wow it's been a long while since I last blogged...a lot of things happened and it kinda inspired me to jot things down again so that I could review on them as I get older...

Best of Me - Daniel Powter

2008-12-14T13:24:00.002+08:00

We have gone through a bit...the exams and now the school holidays with a lot of things on each of our diaries day to day. Constantly, we create happy moments with bad moments interweaving - they might not be what we want, but they certainly do help us figure out more about each other's world as our worlds collide into one. Lucky I do not know if I am but certainly each day knowing that you're by my side puts a light on my face...this is a song for you by Daniel Powter called 'Best of Me'.

Best of Me - Daniel Powter
I was made the wrong way
Won't you do me the right way
Where you gonna be tonight
'Cause I won't stay too long
Maybe you're the light for me
When you talk to me it strikes me
Won't somebody help me
'Cause I don't feel too strong
Was it something that I said
Was it something that I did
Or the combination of both that did me wrong
You know I'm hoping you'll sing along
Though it's not your favorite song
Don't wanna be there when there's nothing left to say
You know that some of us spin again
When you do, you need a friend
Don't wanna be there when there's nothing left for me
And I hate the thought of finally being erased
Baby that's the best of me
Everything's behind you
But the hope still stands beside you
Living in every moment
Have I wasted all your time
Was there something that I said
Was there something that I did
Or the combination I broke that did me have
You know I'm hoping you'll sing along
Though it's not your favorite song
Don't wanna be there when there's nothing left to say
You know that some of us spin again
When you do, you need a friend
Don't wanna be there when there's nothing left for me
And I hate the thought of finally being erased
Baby that's the best of me
Baby that's the best of me
You know I'm hoping you'll sing along
Though it's not your favorite song
Don't wanna be there when there's nothing left to say
You know that some of us spin again
When you do, you need a friend
Don't wanna be there when there's nothing left for me
And I hate the thought of finally being erased
Baby that's the best of me

A Night in Rodanthe...

Bad Luck with Gadgets...

2008-12-10T17:21:00.002+08:00

Ha...finally hearing from me again?! I have been super busy with my schoolwork and FYP so I really had no time to update about my life! Well, photos will be uploaded in a while. I think I'm going to set up a blog over at livejournal soon 'cos I hope that I could have different levels of security for different types of posts.

Anyway, now I'm actually in lab with a 'lil wee bit of free time so pardon my ranting! I just guess I'm having a 'lil bad luck with my electronic gadgets and maybe not just mine...

It all started when my new 'lil Vaio had those white patches behind the glass of the LCD panel. Then the light of the webcam stopped working...then next mishaps befell on my Nokia N82. The power off button and the down volume button disengaged with the internal hardware so they do not respond no matter how hard you jab them. So, I had to be really mindful about the battery level of the phone 'cos if it died, that's it...well, both of them are well and okay now after coming out of their respective hospitals. Next in line was my iPod, which went to hospital yesterday for not having a reflex reaction to the plugging in of the connector (emm...don't go dirty, 'cos I mean the USB connector...)

I don't know if I mistreated them but I didn't think so. Until yesterday, the phone acted up again by not powering up the photo taking application when I flicked down the camera lens. That was such a fright 'cos my phone was out of warranty already and thinking about the amount that I would need to fork out from my pocket emm...well, that was my own fault 'cos I used it to hit my bong bong too hard on his lap! Hehe...

At least I'm happy 'cos it started working all of a sudden. I just got myself a Sony CyberCam T77 so I just hope that it doesn't follow suit! I wanna get the upcoming Nokia N97 if it's below 600 after trade in...well, it's a long way before it's out on shelf so I'd strive hard to save up for it! And hopefully save up enough to get a pair...lalalala! I guess you're reading this so I added in the last bit! Opps...

Things that are really great in life are those that could be shared...

Sorry...

2008-10-13T01:57:00.003+08:00

I Hate This Part - Pussycat Dolls
We're driving slow through the snow on 5th Avenue
And right now radio's all that we can hear
Now we ain't talk since we left, it's so over due
It's cold outside but between us it's worse in here
The world slows down
But my heart beats fast right now
I know this is the part
Where the end starts
I can't take it any longer
Thought that we were stronger
All we do is linger
Slipping through my fingers
I don't wanna try now
All that's left's goodbye to
Find a way that I can tell you
I hate this part right here
I hate this part right here
I just can't take your tears
I hate this part right here
Everyday, seven takes of the same old scene
Seems we're bound by the laws of the same routine
Gotta talk to you now 'fore we go to sleep
But will we sleep once I tell you what's hurting me
The world slows down
But my heart beats fast right now
I know this is the part
Where the end starts
I can't take it any longer
Thought that we were stronger
All we do is linger
Slipping through our fingers
I don't wanna try now
All that's left's goodbye to
Find a way that I can tell you
I hate this part right here
I hate this part right here
I just can't take your tears
I hate this part right here
I know you'll ask me to hold on
And carry on like nothing's wrong
But there is no more time for lies
'Cause I see sunset in your eyes
I can't take it any longer
Thought that we were stronger
All we do is linger
Slipping through our fingers
I don't wanna try now
All that's left's goodbye to
Find a way that I can tell you
That I gotta do it, I gotta do it, I gotta do it
I hate this part
I gotta do it, I gotta do it, I gotta do it
I hate this part right here
I hate this part right here
I just can't take these tears
I hate this part right here

I'm sorry I had to do this 'cos I really do not see that these differences could be reconciled. I finally saw that giving up takes a lot of courage...

...people always think that ditcher doesn't feel no pain. That's a fake 'cos it feels terrible. I want to be there to ease the pain, yet I can't...

Sorry...

Wah...that's what my name says...

2008-08-26T00:36:00.002+08:00

What Samuel Tay Means

You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong.
You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know.
You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do.

You are usually the best at everything...you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated.
You master any and all skills easily. You don't have to work hard for what you want.
You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you'll knock down anyone who gets in your way!

You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way.
And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life.
You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.
You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.
At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.
You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.
Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life.
You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home.
You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble.

You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in.
You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising.
You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

That sounds like the Joker in the Major Arena of the Tarot...

It's Been Awhile...

2008-08-06T12:58:00.002+08:00

School somewhat started very abruptly: there's like this transition from nothing to do daily to everything's so hectic now even though this is the first week of school.

Last weekend was filled with dinner parties! Friday night was my JC CT outing. It's like one of the biggest outing we had since graduation back in 2003. Wow! 2003 really does sound ancient! 13 people in all including the rare appearance of Xierong! Laura and Carol didn't come 'cos they couldn't make it so we had a lunch prior to this outing with Zhiqing as well. It was supposed to be my turn to organize this meeting but I was too busy with my FYP during the last few weeks of the holidays. Anyway, it's good to see that all the girls are working and all the guys are still midway through their studies...

Saturday was to celebrate Jeremy Chia's birthday. OMG it came so last minute that I had to cancel my other appointment. Of course I have to attend Jeremy's birthday 'cos he's abonana aka mimi! Mwahaha so evil of me to come up with all these crazy nicks for him! Oh...I just realized we didn't take any picture with him. Too bad then...

Sunday night was dinner to celebrate Eechow's and Winston's birthday! OMG...now I get why I'm so broke! It must be all the dinners and the presents! Haiz...

School started officially on Monday. Sadly, I started this semester with a Year 4 module on physiological engineering and artificial organs so Xiaotian and Jianxiong weren't there with me. But it's okay 'cos it's not the first time I do a module alone on my own. Well, there are other coursemates there with me too...

Tuesday was kinda insane 'cos we ended rather early. So Xiaotian had this crave for KFC so poor Brendan (under the hoax of mean Xiaotian! And yah Xiaotian is always mean 'cos she always say I pangseh they all) had to drive us to Jurong Point for lunch! Jianxiong suddenly came up with the big KFC challenge again: we'd pay him 50 bucks each if he could finish Family Feast B. Family Feast B! OMG: it has 10 pieces of chicken (it's up to the challenger whatever parts his chooses but it must have a piece of different parts and he must finish everything with the skin), and a large Chicken Popcorn, and a medium coleslaw, and a medium whip potato. And if he wishes, he could have a cup of soft drink to along. Well, the time limit for the challenge is 1 hour. It's really insane! Well, of course as the setters of the challenge, it's not meant to be humane: who would want to know that for sure he would lose 50 bucks. Oh well well, he managed to finish 8 pieces of chicken (1 tight, 1 rib, 2 drumsticks and 2 wings) and the coleslaw, half of the whip potato and half of the popcorn chicken. Woah, it's still commendable. I had 3 and a half pieces of chicken and I couldn't have dinner yesterday. OMG, I wonder how it feels like having 8 pieces of chicken. (Maybe someone knows. That's ultra bitchy opps!)

It's quite surprising Ben called. Some crappy issue cropped up and I had to shift my blog for the time being. Just as I hope everything has rested, it happened again. I felt a bit disturbed the whole night. But I'm okay once more.

Content and cover, what would you go for?

It's Oval

2008-07-31T22:46:00.004+08:00

Well, it's oval! The mathematical name for an oval is an ellipse taking the general equation [(x-a)^2/h^2]+[(y-b)^2/k^2]=0, where on a Cartesian coordinate system (a,b) would give the center of the ellipse and the ellipse would have a width of 2h and a height of 2k. There are two foci for an ellipse. The sum of the distances from any point on the surface of the ellipse to the two foci is constant and the distance between these two foci is called the focal distance. When these two foci merge into one, you get a special kinda ellipse known as a circle i.e. h=k in the general equation. There are importances to foci of a elliptical curve and that's how satellite dishes and acoustic systems of big theaters based on. Still, it's oval! Anyway, it's a pun...

Well, time has zoomed past pretty fast 'cos it's been 3 weeks since I spotted that oval. Humph, it's still a pun...I know I'm getting a 'lil corny. Last weekend I went to St. James and I bumped into only quite a handful of friends. Many were quite shocked to see me I supposed 'cos I haven't been clubbing lately. In fact, that would mark the end to my clubber lifestyle. Many things inspired me to quit clubbing and I'll tell you the reasons in no time...

I met this guy called Jim lately. Well, nice look and nice bod. Establishing his career and I see that he's ambitious and having a promising career in front of him. He's younger than me and he doesn't club. What does clubbing offer me? Nothing much actually aside from burning a hole in my pocket: the cover charge, the drinks, the supper and the cab fare home. Well, I get to know a few more guys whom I know that with a hectic school life I couldn't keep in contact with (so I hope if you guys read my blog here you know why it's very hard to get me out during school term.) The time spent being high and the hangover the next day makes you not able to operate effectively and efficiently. I think it's time to relabel clubbing as an occasional events than a routine like before especially now I have 6 tuition kids to juggle and close friends I wanna get closer with.

I have kinda reformed my life and know what I want and now I'm trying to steer myself out of the scene and focusing on things that I want to accomplish. I wanna try trekking. Snorkeling would come in if Songda doesn't put my aeroplane 'cos we agreed to go Redang in our midterm break. I'm trying to plan a Cambodia-Vietnam-Myammar backpack trip at the end of this year. And there are just simply a lot of things that I wanna learn!

I have been crazy shopping over the past week and I got a crazy load of things: (1) a pair of Adidas track shoes; (2) a Nike singlet; (3) a Guess belt; (4) DKNY Be Delicious Men's Green Apple fragrance (ha, since I got it earlier than Daren, he has no reason to call me copycat and I could call him copycat if we used it together when we hang out!); (5) a sketch book; (6) a couple of tee-shirts. Oh...I still need a shoe bag and some swimming and gym gear.

Schedule for the next semester is out already and I've a really bad time table. I'm doing a 28 AU schedule with 9 modules inclusive of FYP. It's kinda mad. Today I went back to school to print notes with Zhuoguan after swimming together. It's really OMG when I looked at the notes! Full of equations and they seem somewhat very distant after a 3 month break. Humph...it's time to work hard again! My modules are gross:
(1) BG3002 Controls in Biosystems
(2) BG3003 Signal Process in Biosystems
(3) BG3004 Biomedical Imaging
(4) BG3005 Biomedical Instrumentation
(5) BG3006 Advanced Biocomputational Methods
(6) BG3071 Bioengineering Lab 3
(7) BG4225 Physiological Engineering and Artificial Organs
(8) MB218 International Financial Management or MB219 Principles of Risk and Insurance (Result for elective would be out tomorrow!)
(9) FYP - on the URECA project I was on for the past one year!
Maybe I'll put a copy of my time table here when it's finalized so you guys know when you could call me out!

I needa get something done for the time being...

Hyperbolic insanity!

Perfect Cut

2008-07-24T23:01:00.007+08:00

This is a song by Sinhuey for the 10 pm show on Channel U called Perfect Cut...

过去的批评嘲讽 (Let it go, let it go)
过去的轻蔑冷落 (Let it go, let it go)
有些人口不饶人
却忘了瞧瞧自己又有什么资格
时刻都善良待人 (Let's move on, let's move on)
时刻都做好本分 (Let's move on, let's move on)
有些人心思浅薄
绝不是宽容自暴自弃的理由
也许确实也受过言语打击
也许从来也没什么好际遇
千万别将勇气深锁在阴影里
我们又不会妨碍这世界继续美丽
我知道我变漂亮了 (我知道我被注意了)
曾难过曾失落微笑一下就过
外在的美貌容易戳破
内在的美好细水长流
我知道我变漂亮了 (我知道我也豁达了)
不自卑不埋怨就算还差一点点
用内涵弥补一切缺陷
内在的美迷住每个人的眼
时刻都善良待人 (Let's move on, let's move on)
时刻都做好本分 (Let's move on, let's move on)
有些人心思浅薄
绝不是宽容自暴自弃的理由
也许想说的话总埋在心底
也许想要的爱可望而不可及
竭尽全力争取幸福会看到你
大声说你的真心全世界最动听
我知道我变漂亮了 (我知道我被注意了)
曾难过曾失落微笑一下就过
外在的美貌容易戳破
内在的美好细水长流
我知道我变漂亮了 (我知道我也豁达了)
不自卑不埋怨就算还差一点点
用内涵弥补一切缺陷
内在的美迷住每个人的眼
一个两个不懂丑小鸭变天鹅啊
需要时间比较多
走过了伤痛才看得更通透
不到最后不会懂命运安排了什么
我知道我变漂亮了 (我变漂亮了)
曾难过曾失落微笑一下就过
外在的美貌容易戳破
内在的美好细水长流
我知道我变漂亮了 (我知道我也豁达了)
不自卑不埋怨就算还差一点点
用内涵弥补一切缺陷
内在的美迷住每个人的眼
用内涵弥补一切缺陷
内在的美迷住每个人的眼

Recently, I've got to make another close friend. Ha...this guy he treated me to cakes at Cedele 'cos he felt sad for those bottles of liquor that I broke. Technically, I didn't break them 'cos they fell off the shelf. He told me that he noticed my profile a while back but he never wanted to send me a message. He added that he felt that I was hot and was afraid that I didn't want to make friends with him. Humph 'cos that set me wondering since when have I been so superficial. Well, maybe I truly was...I replied messages people sent me based on the pictures they have on their profiles. I mean I couldn't entertain to everyone. But I have to make it clear that I do not reply based on the profile pictures solely, it also depends on the stuff they write in the messages. Like Vance said, what is there to reply to a hi? What about bye?

Cedele! Yummy! No need to use so many cutlery for 2 slices of cake right?

Chocolate Truffle - packed full with chocolaty goodness!

Here here! Wrong focus! Da da...the Ruby Strawberry Cheesecake!

Well, the human eyes are attracted to things that are aesthetically appealing. That forms the initial attraction. If there is chemistry, then it becomes a date. There's much more to a person than just physical look alone really. Think about what if someone who likes to pick his nose and eats his booger (Xiaotian, I know you're going to point at me! Opps...I joke about eating them but I'm seriously going to stick it on your lab coat the next time. 'Cos I haven't gotten rid of the Hi you wrote on mine!) I mean even if someone looks hot and has some cranky habit. It's such a turn off right?

And how does chemistry come about? It comes from learning to appreciate the inner beauty of another person...

I have all along told people that physical appearance is all about dressing and grooming. These are things that could be learnt and not borned with. I don't think I would agree with Daren; I don't think I'm hot but I know that I'm at least presentable. And comparing to the past, I think I look better now. If you don't believe, log on to Friendster and check me out (and have a good laugh with those pictures of course.) We need to learn how to laugh at ourselves at times. Well, about half a year ago, I realized that one of my two upper incisors has a crack. This tooth gave me a lot of problem since it got a serious knock in a fall during dance practice a decade back. I went to NDC and had it examined. The dentist told me that this tooth wouldn't last very long 'cos this crack is likely an indication of a fracture. Well, that tooth would be gone in a few years time. I don't want to be wearing a denture so I guess the next best thing is an implant. But an implant is permanent so I couldn't not shift the position of the implant once it's fixed. So if I wanted to correct my teeth, I have to do braces first before I could have the implant. Well all in all, it's going to cost about $8 000. But phew~, it's not going to be a lump sum payment. I guess I have to come up with the $4 000 I need for the braces first.

There's this person whom I got to know online for not very long. He had been very persistent in asking me how was my exdate like, what we used to talk about, what we used to do, etc. It's really annoying when I got to know that he wanted to know me through the things we did. That's not very sincere in his attempt to make friends. People behave differently in different circumstances. How my exdate felt about me would definitely be different from how he would feel about me if we ever met up. Secondly, the thing he annoyed me was how he refused to let me see his cam when he had already shown me a picture of himself. I prefer to cam chat with someone new 'cos I get to familiarize his face (and no other purpose! Duh!) His reason for refusal was that I haven't got over my exdate. Those were separate issues, weren't they? It didn't feel very coherent and it made me feel that he's hiding something from me! Thirdly, I had no one to have dinner with a few days back. He told me he wouldn't mind having dinner and I gave him my number. He said he'd message me and confirm the time and venue. Well, I waited and waited. Nothing. Later, he told me he lost his mobile phone and couldn't contact me. Oh...what a coincidence. Conclusion: he's really very not sincere. Action: blocked!

Personally, I think that he's a very ugly person. He looked not bad in his picture really (unless that's a picture of someone else.) 'Cos he thought that people judge him based on look. Well, it's not possible that we could not make a first impression based on look but someone who put in excessive efforts to make himself look so good that he lost himself is in fact very ugly no matter how physically appealing he has become.

I made a trip down to Nokia Care Center yesterday. Of course to get my phone fixed 'cos of 5 dead pixels. They came out together overnight in a row. Well, of course they got it fixed for me 'cos it's definitely a manufacturing problem.

I went out with Thad to Southern Ridges a few days back. It rained. Certain parts of the whole walk give magnificent views. How perfect it'd be if I hadn't gone with him but with someone I treasure and who treasures me? He told me how he developed with his current date. It's nice to hear that he's doing fine in his current relationship. But it's funny how he asked about how I thought we could try out again if we were both single. I don't think it'd ever be possible again. Time has changed and so have I. And me? I'm still trying to get contact with Ben - to give our story an end. Or maybe it has already ended...

I'm not seeing anyone lately though there is someone I wanna know better at a personal level. I don't think I'm ready to handle a relationship as yet but I wouldn't mind dating and see how things turn out. Maybe Keltio is right. Forever love is nonexistent. How long is forever? Lifetime? And yet, how long is a lifetime? No one knows. The most important thing I somewhat got to figure is to enjoy the present - together. And respect the other as another being who wants to share his life with you as much as you wanna share your life with him. It's late...I needa be going and opps, sorry for not updating in a while.

Oh yah! It was Chookeat's birthday last week! Happy birthday Chookeat! Another year older...hehe!

This old man...he plays not one but twenty something! Not telling you though...

Reformation in progress...

Broken Silence?

2008-07-17T02:11:00.003+08:00

Last night about this time, a support beam of my wall shelf buckled under the weight of my vodka collection and sent the whole unit down. Well, luckily for me I was at the dining hall away from my usual site beneath the shelf. Otherwise, I wouldn't be sitting here...

The tumbling sound ruined the night - the shattering sound of the liquor bottle broke the silence. The event was somehow fated. It seems to be telling me that someone has to break this tension we find ourselves in to give both of us a direction...

...a huge outburst happened last Friday that sent us into this deep silent - the aftermath of a supernova. And this silence is tormenting me...

Old people say that it's never a good idea to make a pair of slippers a gift no matter the occasion 'cos it symbolizes that you're asking this person to leave. I'm not sure if I'm being superstitious but it seems like ever since you bought me that pair of slippers, we ran into a lot of issues. If those were merely problems, it's really fine 'cos we could work through them. But these occurrences were somewhat the roots of our conflict. Given a choice, I would rather not have that pair of slippers and just have a simple life...

Perhaps, I wouldn't lead us to this state not for my extreme selfishmess and insensitivity. Maybe Thad was right in the sense that I 'love' based on what I feel it should be rather than trying to be understanding and compassionate. Maybe...

My life is now like my room last night - in total wreckage. The shelf collapsed in matter of seconds but it took a total of about 11 hours to clear the mess up - and restoration work is yet to be done. Well, maybe time is the solution to everything...just maybe.

I have written a letter for you...but I guess you need time to get over everything. No, I'm not trying to act like a humble person taking all the blames now. I know I'm very unreasonable whenever I fight...and I really am. But I hope we could really get over this fast regardless the outcome...

I've learnt an important lesson this round and I never hope to commit it again...

Love is marvelous for it can multiply joy and divide burden to those who trust its ability...and trust is all it needs!

Sand Storm...

2008-07-12T04:56:00.002+08:00

Wind is strong...capable of stirring up a sand storm. But the sand storm is not capable of sustaining without the wind.

I'm tired. A lot of unexplained events. I'm taking a short break off everything...

As fast as it rises, a sand storm has to calm down.

Dust to dust.

Greetings from Hong Kong

2008-07-11T14:50:00.004+08:00

Tuesday night while I was at the airport going home after having dinner with Dad, Xiaotian called me and used her super act cute squeeky voice to ask: Sam, do you miss Princess? Haha...it's super act cute lor! Dots...so act cute I didn't understand and went huh! Lalalala and she was so disappointed. Opps. She got me out for dinner on Wednesday and she got me so much surprises: a half dozen box of Krispy Kreme doughnuts and a lot of Stitch toys from Disneyland! So happy!

Krispy Kreme...kum kum! Opps...sounds wrong! Not all things could start with K and still sound yummy...

Go figure which is which...

I still love the picture of Stitch using his tongue digging for bogger.

Lately, a lot of issues happened between Ben and me. And being my short tempered self, I sometimes couldn't control myself and got back him. I feel bad. Really bad especially I know that currently he's very moody and he needs my attention the most. I'm trying to be a better person...but it's really hard to. I'm trying my best to change for the better of us two. It's hard to walk through all these alone...but you'll never be alone 'cos I'll always be there. You know the reason too...

What a lasy Prince...

Last night I came back to school 'cos I needa finish some stuff in the lab and also to take care of Prince 'cos Xiaotian had to go back to Malaysia on a family trip. Starting this 'lil princey boy was so sweet: he kept coming up to me and purred on my hand. Later when you got tired and wanted to sleep then you knew what was irritating. The whole night he was walking up and down on me. And if I ever moved in the comforter he'd jump on the part that move and bite. And that'd shock me and I would wake up. After a while, I couldn't take it and I took the comforter off to stop his constant pouncing on me. He got bored I guess 'cos he curled up beside me and slept. I took a picture of it and he looked so cute...but nothing beats my baby boy.

Love makes you want to hug your other half after that person made you feel like killing him...

Love You 'Til the End...

2008-07-08T22:17:00.002+08:00

I stayed up late last night to watch P.S. I Love You. It's a really old show but it's still really touching. I love the start absolutely. The part where Holly and Jerry fought after coming back from Holly's mom's place: they way they still love each other after that heated argument. Like Holly's friend said: being married means giving and putting up with all the nonsense you give each other and yet still willing to be with each other. And I guess that's what love is all about.

This song, Love You 'Til the End by the Pogues, is a soundtrack of this show...it's really nice aside from the coarse voice of the singer.

Love You 'Til the End - The Pogues
I just want to see you
When you're all alone
I just want to catch you if I can
I just want to be there when the morning light explodes
On your face it radiates
I can't escape
I love you 'til the end
I just want to tell you nothing you dont want to hear
All I want is for you to say
Oh, why dont you just take me where I've never been before?
I know you want to hear me catch my breath
I love you 'til the end
I love you 'til the end
I love you 'til the end
I love you 'til the end
I just want to be there
When you're caught in the rain
I just want to see you laughter cry
I just want to feel you when the night puts on its cloak
I'm lost for words
Don't tell me
'Cos all I can say
I love you 'til the end
I love you 'til the end
I love you 'til the end
I love you 'til the end
I love you 'til the end
(All I can say) I love you 'til the end
I love you 'til the end
I love you 'til the end
(It's all I can say) I love you 'til the end
I love you 'til the end
i love you 'til the end...

I love you...'til the end.

Seeing through the Red Dust...

2008-07-05T13:09:00.002+08:00

Frazer always puts the 3 elements of relationships beside his mouth: (1) intention; (2) attention; and (3) no tension. It's amazing how true it is. First you must have an intention i.e. your way of thoughts. After that you need to put in effort and time to bring your thoughts across and that's attention. Finally you must make sure that everything feels comfortable to both i.e. no tension.

...I don't know what lies between the two of us now. Intention seems to be hazy. It looks as if it is there but not quite. It's time that we have to sort out what we want from each other...

...would you love me still, tomorrow?

I'll Be - Edwin McCain

2008-07-04T17:59:00.002+08:00

This is my all time favorite...I love this song a lot! It's a soundtrack from the movie a Cinderella Story. It's a modern day version of Cinderella...

I'll Be - Edwin McCain
The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful
Stop me and steal my breath
Emeralds from mountains thrust toward the sky
Never revealing their depth
Tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
I'll be captivated
I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above
I'll be your crying shoulder
I'll be your love suicide
And I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life
Rain falls angry on the tin roof
As we lie awake in my bed
You're my survival, you're my living proof
My love is alive not dead
Tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
I'll be captivated I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache, that hang from above
I'll be your crying shoulder
I'll be your love suicide
And I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life
I've been dropped out, burned up, fought my way back from the dead
Tuned in, turned on, Remembered the things that you said
I'll be your crying shoulder
I'll be your love suicide
And I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life

...tell me that we belong together.

Collide - Howie Day

2008-07-04T17:26:00.003+08:00

Collide - Howie Day

The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you
Yeah

But I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide

I'm quiet you know
You make a frist impression
I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find
You and I collide

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to ryhme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find
and I collide

You finally find
You and I collide

Collision brings sparks...that add light into the darkness

The Deep Impact...

2008-07-04T15:31:00.002+08:00

You told me before I left my MSN: and i wanna say i do miss you. 2259 - one to eleven. It left a deep impact.

I might have kissed you on you lips. The whole night the tension was high. It was awaiting to be broken. No one initiated. I would have kissed you on your lips. I felt so intertwined with you emotionally - so tightly bound I do not know how to untangle nor I want to untangle. I could have kissed you on your lips. If I didn't wait until your dad came back. I didn't know if you were waiting for that moment too. I was. Eagerly. And I should have kissed you on your lips.

I checked my blog before I slept. You tagged: it'll be one day. 2252 - eight to eleven. It left me with so much hopes and so much doubts. The openendedness...

All the what ifs...what a coward I was. I don't mind losing this friendship. If it were to mean a last long passionate kiss - to let you know that I really love you. No less...but more.

Lost...the needle of the compass failed to work. My heart has no direction. I feel like being caught - in between teeth of two gears...

Like a tango, it will never be complete without two. I put my hand out here...to invite you to join me in this dance. A glorious dance - a tango for two. It will never happen if we both don't intend to make it happen. And if we want to make it happen, then it has to happen...

...before the eleventh hour.

Lies...

2008-07-03T22:05:00.004+08:00

Today I went to Sentosa with 3 friends - Roy, Jeremy and Andre. Weather was good. I got burnt. Roy was late. Unforgivable 'cos it was intentional.

Perhaps all along I haven't found what I thought I have found...the calmness of the sea.

...how's it with him? We broke off. Two questions. One answer. Simultaneously. Different reasons...

I know people are mocking me. See ended so fast again. Why didn't you try? Try?

I lied twice today: I have tuition so I couldn't join you guys for dinner; my tutee canceled tuition so I'm free to cook with you. The matter of fact is I canceled tuition and I wanted to have dinner with you - 'cos I miss you.

Yes I might appear as a serial dater. I never wanted to quit in relationships or dating. Each time I got onto a new dating phase, people would come and tell me: oh you get over him very quickly hor? You wanna know the truth? I have never tried to get over anyone. It's hard to even try...

...it could only have been us two at Sentosa only that day. Perhaps it'll happen someday...

You and Me - Lifehouse
What day is it? And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time
'Cos it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
One of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words
You've got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here
'Cos it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
There's something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything she does is beautiful
Everything she does is right
'Cos it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
and me and all other people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
What day is it? And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive

Isn't love all about trying?

Chill?

2008-07-02T23:56:00.002+08:00

Emm...I'm not agitated. I'm speaking from a very calm mood. Not targeting or blaming anyone. Just saying my thoughts after thinking through what I've been through for the past half a year.

Love is not about calculating how much you can give or have given; love is about giving - and giving unconditionally...

Oh...and that's L.I.F.E.

2008-07-02T23:02:00.001+08:00

Life is a journey. Like love. And both are very trying processes. Sometimes you could put in a lot of soul and effort but that might not translate to a good outcome and vice versa. But one thing we could never deny is that each experience is a teaching lesson. A relationship shouldn't be measured by its span. Instead, it should be measured by the amount of memories it cast in the hearts of two beings. So, next time when a poor soul is deeply hurt after coming out from a one week relationship, don't tell him: com'on it's only a week...

Last week today I went out with this moody guy at night 'cos I was equally moody. He told me guys in this circle only look for 3 things in another guy - money, looks and bods. As sad and as superficial as it might sound, it's true. I'm not going to be a hypocrite to deny that I'm a superficial prick - 'cos for a matter of fact, I am. Well, for me, looks and bods are important. No need to look extremely cute, just need to be pleasing to my eyes. No need to be hunky, just an average Joe will do. Money? Ha...that's the last thing I look for in a partner 'cos it never fails to make me feel inferior...maybe it's an MCP thing. I don't know but I know it sucks knowing that I wouldn't be able to provide well for my other half.

Well, I know that at the end of the day, I'm looking for a guy who is not materialistic - someone who lives realistically if I may add. 'Cos I'm not a person who prizes the act of someone who presents me with say a LV wallet, no doubt I'll be happy. Thad on Valentine's Day presented me with a stone. It's something that I treasure the most 'til this day. It's not diamond. It's neither sapphire nor ruby. It's really just a piece of pebble no bigger than my palm. But, it has the glow-in-the-dark 'Thad loves Sam' letterings stuck on them - and ornamented with many small heart shaped stickers. It's worthless in terms of monetary value, but behind it, there is a huge story - the story of two penguins. It's a huge vision of what two lives compasses - for us, well, it's used to...this dream could have been shattered. But no one could steal the lovely moments we once shared...nor could steal the hurtful insults we hurred at each other in moments of conflicts.

Just look at a note with face value of 10 bucks. It might mean nothing - to both you and me. But when it comes from someone who is so broke that he only has that 10 bucks - it's all he has. And it's his everything. It means you're his everything, too - and perhaps, more than himself. He might be ashame that he could not give you more, but he's willing to give up his everything just to let you have it. Isn't it more touching than someone who has unlimited wealth to doll you up but could never part with his soul for you? I'm sorry but I'm beginning to despise people who lives for money and the apparent goodness it could bring 'cos love is never about these goodies...

I always look for guys around my age with no career with no assets - with nothing basically. 'Cos that way, love would then be about building a common future. A dream...which love should be about all the time. Thad knew I loved him. 'Cos after each fight, we still held each other tightly. Too bad we had many fundamentals differences with our ideals that prevented us from a shared future...

...well, I just came out of another dating phase. Sad it might sound. I was trying hard to bridge the distance. We spent a lot of time together - but there was no attention. That's the damage one tiff could cause. But it's not going to deprive me of the yesterday we had...

Yesterday - Leona Lewis
I just can't believe you're gone
Still waiting for morning to come
Wanna see if the sun will rise
Even without you by my side
When we had so much in store
Tell me what is it i'm reaching for
When we're through building memories
I'll hold yesterday in my heart, in my heart
They can take tomorrow and the plans we made
They can take the music that we'll never play
All the broken dreams
Take everything
Just take it away, but they can never have yesterday
They can take the future that we'll never know
They can take the places that we said we would go
All the broken dreams
Take everything
Just take it away, but they can never have yesterday
You always used to stay
I should be thankful for everyday
Heaven knows what the future holds
Or at least how the story goes
I know i'll see you again i'm sure
No, it's not selfish to ask for more
One more night, one more day
One more smile on you face
But they can't take yesterday
They can take tomorrow and the plans we made
They can take the music that we'll never play
All the broken dreams
Take everything
Just take it away, but they can never have yesterday
They can take the future that we'll never know
They can take the places that we said we would go
All the broken dreams
Take everything
Just take it away, but they can never have yesterday
I thought our days would last forever
'Cos in my mind, we had so much time
But i was so wrong
Now I can, believe that
I can still find the strength in the moments we made
I'm looking back on yesterday
They can take tomorrow and the plans we made
They can take the music that we'll never play
All the broken dreams
Take everything
Just take it away, but they can never have yesterday
They can take the future that we'll never know
They can take the places that we said we would go
All the broken dreams
Take everything
Just take it away, but they can never have yesterday
But they can never have yesterday

Well, time might be running short for me but it's not going to deprive me my dream. Still, love is not something that should be rush. Patience, I should tell myself, always...

Why enslaved ourselves to money?

Emolicious!

2008-07-01T05:07:00.005+08:00

I couldn't sleep. Still a bit moody and emo about everything...ha so I started singing. There's this song by Faber Drive. I know you're going to go again but it's kinda nice. It reminded me how I got to know you. I still remember you were wearing this yellow singlet at the bar. Your friendliness was what that attracted me. The first time we went out was 5 days later. You were wearing this Esprit white t-shirt, this blue grey colored shorts and this pair of Pedro brown loafers. We had a long chat - at the beach past midnight. I guess I could never forget that.

When I'm with You - Faber Drive
Saw you walk in to the room
Thought I'd try to talk to you
Babe, am I ever glad you wanted me to
It's been two years to the day
Half the time I've been away
I know I'm not there enough
But that's gonna change
'Cos I'm coming back
To show you that
I'm keeping the promise I made
When I'm with you
I'll make every second count
'Cos I miss you whenever you're not around
When I kiss you
I still get butterflies
Years from now
I'll make every second count
When I'm with you
Yeah, we've had our ups and downs
But we've always worked 'em out
Babe, am I ever glad we got this far now
Still I'm lying here tonight
Wishing I was by your side
'Cos when I'm not there enough
Nothing feels right
So I'm coming back to show you that
I'll love you the rest of my life
When I'm with you
I'll make every second count
'Cos I miss you, whenever your not around
When I kiss you
I still get butterflies
Years from now
I'll make every second count
When I'm with you
Whatever it takes
I'm not gonna break the promise I made
When I'm with you
I'll make every second count
'Cos i miss you
Yeah
When I'm with you
I'll make every second count
'Cos I miss you, whenever your not around
When I kiss you
I still get butterflies
Years from now
I'll make every second count
When I'm with you
When I'm with you
When I'm with you
When I'm with you

Here's a little segment I sang...a bit out of tune but...

Fate creates the chance for two to meet but choice is what keeps them together...

Is this Who I Am?

2008-07-01T03:50:00.002+08:00

Advanced Global Personality Test Results

Extraversion	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	58%
Stability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	42%
Orderliness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	74%
Accommodation	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	54%
Interdependence	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Intellectual	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	62%
Mystical	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Artistic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Religious	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Hedonism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Materialism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Narcissism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Adventurousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Work ethic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Humanitarian	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Conflict seeking	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Need to dominate	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%

Romantic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Avoidant	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Anti-authority	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Wealth	\|\|\|\|\|\|	23%
Dependency	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Change averse	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Cautiousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Individuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Sexuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Peter pan complex	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Family drive	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Physical Activity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	76%
Histrionic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	76%
Paranoia	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Vanity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Honor	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Thriftiness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality test by similarminds.com

Learn to love yourself for who you are...

Lost...

2008-07-01T02:02:00.006+08:00

A lot of things are fated and unexplainable. I often tell Roy that, and yet I often get into dating or relationship quickly. And often than not, out as quickly. Maybe it's 'cos I was scared of feeling lonely...and it's only worse having no one by only four walls at home. If I were the me a few months back, I would have very persisted for a reason. But this time, I didn't ask for one. Perhaps there was no reason. Perhaps I already knew the reason, or even reasons. And what if I knew? And what if I don't?None of them is going to change the outcome.

I have felt the empty void for a long time back, yet I never brought it to table and try to find ways to change it. It's funny that you eventually feel it after I managed to ignore it. I knew this was coming. Yet I wasn't feeling okay when it came...but at least I guess I am now. I guess...maybe the tiredness is drowning it out for the moment. But it's good at least - that I'm not thinking exactly straight.

There was this song I found from your iPod. I kinda like this song. And another one by the same band.

This song is saying exactly what I had to say before this confrontation...

Tongue Tied - Faber Drive
Bright, cold silver moon
Tonight alone in my room
You were here just yesterday
Slight turn of the head
Eyes down when you said
I guess I need my life to change
Seems like some things just aren't the same
What could I say?
I need a little more luck, than a little bit
'Cos every time I get stuck, the words won't fit
And every time that I try I get tongue tied
I'll need a little good luck to get me by
I need a little more help, than a little bit
Like the perfect one word no one's heard yet
'Cos every time that I try I get tongue tied
I need a little good luck to get me by this time
I stare up at the stars
I wonder just where you are
You feel a million miles away (I wonder just where you are)
Was it something I said?
Or something I never did?
Or was I always in the way? (Was it something I did?)
Could someone tell me what to say to just make you stay?
I need a little more luck, than a little bit
'Cos every time I get stuck the words won't fit
And every time that I try I get tongue tied
I need a little good luck to get me by
I need a little more help than a little bit
Like the perfect one word no one's heard yet
'Cos every time that I try I get tongue tied
I need a little good luck to get me by this time
I know it feels like the end
Don't want to be here again
And we could help each other off the ground so we never fall down again
What it takes I don't care
We're gonna make it I swear
And we could help each other off the ground so we never fall down again
Again
I need a little more luck than a little bit
'Cos every time I get stuck the words won't fit
But every time that I try I get tongue tied
I need a little good luck to get me by
I need a little more help, than a little bit
Like the perfect one word no one's heard yet
'Cos every time that I try I get tongue tied
I need a little good luck to get me by this time
I know it feels like the end
Don't want to be here again
And we could help each other off the ground so we never fall down again
What it takes I don't care
We're gonna make it I swear
And we could help each other off the ground so we never fall down again

...and this one says exactly what I'm feeling now...

Second Chance - Faber Drive
I found the phone
I must've missed your message
You got it wrong, it wasn't what your friend said
Tell by your tone, I've taken it too far again
(Just when I thought I'd gone and fixed it all again)
Your friends are telling you: you gotta move on
(Just when I thought I'd gone and wrecked it all again)
You turned around so I could tell you what took so long
I don't know why I ever waited to say
'Cos I'm just dying just to see you again
Instead of holding you, I was holding out
I should've let you in, but I let you down
You were the first to give, I was the first to ask
Now I'm in second place, to get a second chance
I should've known, took you and I for granted
Gotta let you know, I was never underhanded
Tell by your tone, I've taken it too far again
(Just when I thought I'd gone and fixed it all again)
My friends are telling me they saw you with someone
(Just when I thought I'd gone and wrecked it all again)
You turned around so I could tell you what took so long
I don't know why i ever waited to say
'Cos I'm just dying just to see you again
Instead of holding you, I was holding out
I should've let you in, but I let you down
You were the first to give, I was the first to ask
Now I'm in second place, to get a second chance
My last mistake, putting my friends first
I tried to laugh it off but I made things worse
You were the first to give, I was the first to ask
Now I'm in second place, to get a second chance
What you give is always what you get
There's so much I haven't given yet
If you could give another second chance
(Just when I thought I'd gone and fixed it all again)
My friends are telling me they saw you with someone
(Just when I thought I'd gone and wrecked it all again)
You turned around so I could tell you what took so long
I don't know why I ever waited to say
'Cos I'm just dying just to see you
Instead of holding you, I was holding out
I should've let you in, but I let you down
You were the first to give, I was the first to ask
Now I'm in second place, to get a second chance
My last mistake, putting my friends first
I tried to laugh it off but I made things worse
You were the first to give I was the first to ask
Now I'm in second place to get a second chance
Instead of holding you, I was holding out
I should've let you in, but I let you down
You were the first to give, I was the first to ask
Now I'm in second place, to get a second chance

...I thought by ignoring things, they could sort themselves out as we bring things to a whole new level. But things don't get sorted themselves out. I was just escaping. I'm sorry I doubted us. But one thing I never doubted is the feelings we had...

I'm not going to brood over things. It will only sour our friendship - and that's what left of us. If things were meant to happen again, it will and I hope so - 'cos I'm starting to miss you. Quite badly, actually...still, I'm not going to do anything about it 'cos if I were to do more I, the more artificial and more awkward things would turn out. Thanks for your iPod when mine was in the repair store. It was really sweet of you...I guess I still haven't thank you for that.

Songs - somehow manage to understand what you want to say. Uncannily.

非你莫属《Tank》

2008-06-24T16:24:00.004+08:00

非你莫属《Tank》

懂得让我微笑的人再没有谁比你有天分
轻易闯入我的心门明天的美梦你完成

整个宇宙浩瀚无边的尽头
每个渺小星球全都绕着你走

爱我非你莫属我只愿守护由你给的幸福
爱我非你莫属也许会笑着哭但那人是你所以不怕苦

懂得让我流泪的人给的感动一定是最深
在我心中留下伤痕你同时点亮了星辰

整个宇宙浩瀚无边的尽头
每个渺小星球全都绕着你走

爱我非你莫属我只愿守护由你给的幸福
爱我非你莫属也许会笑着哭但那人是你所以不怕苦

看那么多相遇偏偏只和你天造地设般产生奇迹
哦我心的缝隙我想除了你任谁也无法填补着空虚

爱我非你莫属我只愿守护由你给的幸福
爱我非你莫属也许会笑着哭但那人是你所以不怕苦

但那人是你所以不怕苦

非你莫属…

Feeling Disturbed...

2008-06-24T14:54:00.004+08:00

I was bored in lab and so I started going through people's blogs and tagboards to kpo and I came across this person's blog and saw his tagboard. This anonymous dick went put something like: Hey I think you and this person makes a good couple as compared to your ex. Don't you think so? I find it very disturbing. 'Cos this person definitely doesn't make a good lover. Why? 'Cos he's too quantitative and too comparative. Everyone's different and unique and that's what makes each and everyone an individual - and special. We all come in packages: bringing along a list of characteristics and features and there's none of them that could be modified or exchanged for another. So how could you compare your current partner with the previous one?

Making comparison is the root to all unhappiness 'cos you'll never feel happy. Each of us has our own shortcomings. If all day long, we keep making statements like: Oh you know my ex is better than you in this and you're better than my ex in that, you'll never sit down and get to enjoy your partner - which is the utmost important thing in a relationship.

Another friend came to tell me that he hasn't feel very good with his partner these days. 'Cos his partner never seems to be spontaneous. Emm...and I asked him: So he did ask you to go out for a movie today didn't he? He replied yah - and I hope with some bit of guilt. I mean if he weren't spontaneous, he wouldn't even want to ask to watch a show with you right? Ha...we all sometimes expect our other half to do this for us to do that for us. There's no wrong to expectation but if the other half fails to meet our expectations then emm...you're going to feel not loved enough. It only harms the relationship.

Like my wise old friend told me: in love, do what you can for the relationship not for the other person nor for yourself. That way both of you could feel happy.

I'm rather blessed now...and I feel much more learned 'cos it seems like I'm taking things easily, regardless work-related, love-related or money-related (and that's why I could get over you so fast. In case you're here looking at this entry, I just wanna let you know that through all the incidents and events that had occurred, I've seen you clear enough. And I'm equally disgusted.) It makes me feel less stressed out. I think this is the life I wanna have. Sometimes having a peace in mind and not thinking so much in love gives you that laid back feeling. You start to enjoy everything and feel good about yourself and your partner. I'm so looking forward to the picnic this coming Sunday and I'm not containing the excitment!

Love is not just about the sweet moments; it's also about all the obstacles two persons overcome and yet still be together...

Hearsays...

2008-06-24T11:13:00.004+08:00

I'm not a high profiler nor am I a high flyer so I don't quite get why people wanna murmur behind me. Do they actually understand me as a person? I lost someone I used to like 'cos I listen too much to what people have to say...and I'm happy you don't listen to them. So now, I'm using my heart to feel yours. All I wanna let you know is that by now you already know who am I and what I could offer. Anyone could be sweet to anyone...I could be sweet to you. But that's not important, the most important thing is I want to be sweet to you and I want you to be beside me all the time...

There are many things we have planned to do and I want to do them with you! All of them...you have brought the colors back to my life and I want you to be here. And I hope you want to be here with me too...

Hold my hands tight...'cos we shall make this a crazy ride...a ride for two!

Love is not about what we could do...love is about what we want to do!

Shopping Fun

2008-06-19T23:49:00.006+08:00

Roy wasn't quite in a good mood today so he got me out to Vivo City to shop for a birthday present for his friend. Plus Ben has a dinner appointment on and I haven't quite spend time with this good pal here, so I went along with him...especially when Roy has been complaining to me that he has been rather moody 'cos of work related stress.

I have been shopping quite a bit lately and am behaving like a girl in the sense that I have been getting quite a bit of stuff that I don't quite find a need for. Well, I didn't got a few stuff today - only a piece of short shirt from Fox I have been eyeing on. It was quite a hard time deciding between 2 - this one from Fox and another one from Springfield - 'cos both of them look similar. In the end I pick the one from Fox for economical reason. I think Roy was trying to buy things to rid his moodiness...he got a tee and a cap from Pull and Bear and another cap from Playground in the Tangs. Okay, I shan't be mean and comment on the caps.

Oh yah, we did some silly photos with those silly sunshades at Topman...kinda funny...

Stylish leh...

...and a switch in roles. Opps...that sounds wrong!

My part time girlfriend is still very angry with me over Tuesday's incident. I was very late for our high tea yumcha session. I admit it's partially my fault that I could have made it if I was in school earlier. But the main reason why I was super late was that I got my timing for the teleconferencing session with my prof wrong. I mistook my timing. So that kinda made me even later. Okay lah, don't be so angry with me liao okay?

Time passes by...regardless if we liked it.

Oh Beware! I'm the Devil!

2008-06-18T00:24:00.003+08:00

You are The Devil
Materiality. Material Force. Material temptation; sometimes obsession
The Devil is often a great card for business success; hard work and ambition.

Perhaps the most misunderstood of all the major arcana, the Devil is not really "Satan" at all, but Pan the half-goat nature god and/or Dionysius. These are gods of pleasure and abandon, of wild behavior and unbridled desires. This is a card about ambitions; it is also synonymous with temptation and addiction. On the flip side, however, the card can be a warning to someone who is too restrained, someone who never allows themselves to get passionate or messy or wild - or ambitious. This, too, is a form of enslavement. As a person, the Devil can stand for a man of money or erotic power, aggressive, controlling, or just persuasive. This is not to say a bad man, but certainly a powerful man who is hard to resist. The important thing is to remember that any chain is freely worn. In most cases, you are enslaved only because you allow it.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

A number of other tarot cards are also misunderstood. All the major arcana cards are neutral cards. They take on meaning with the situations. Like Death. It means transition. It merely means the end of something and the beginning of another. Not necessary good or bad. Another one is Wheel of Fortune. It doesn't mean good luck is coming. It just means a change of environment and luck. That's all. So sometimes don't be too sensitive about the tag.

Don't judge a book by its cover...if not, you'll not see beyond the superficial!

Last Ubin Trip...

2008-06-15T13:25:00.005+08:00

I was going through those pictures on my desktop that need to be sorted out and found a lot of outings I had and left unblogged. So I just felt like doing a summary on each of them...felt so great to see those outings and those great old times I spent with all my friends!

The first one I wanna talk about is the trip to Pulau Ubin with some NTU friends. Thad and I went together. Oh...a whole of unhappy incidents before arriving at Ubin man! But let's not go there...well, Thad did a superman later as we cycled down a slope. He went so fast he lost control of the bike and fell on all 4 and had bad abrasion on his right palm. It started raining and since none of us got a first aid kit along I had to be the one to run back up the slope to find something to dress his wounds. Well, that day ended with a supper buffet at Sakae at Marina Square...

Ubin Trip with some NTU friends back in December last year!

Some stylish pictures we decided to take...it's quite funny we took so long to arrange ourselves in the picture!

Me and the sunset...

Ubin is seriously a nice and cheap place to go with friends...you really get to do a lot of fun things and enjoy yourselves! Someday I shall go with my sweetheart!

Sunset and curtain drop...

Rainy Day Rainy Mind

2008-06-11T15:34:00.002+08:00

Ha...I just had my Biz Law paper today and it's really one of the most disgusting papers I have had. I had the same feeling as though I just retook my Fluid Mechanics paper. I didn't do a 20 mark question on tort of passing off. I hope the rest went fine. Actually, nope! Not really...'cos I didn't know quite what I was writing. There was simply not enough time...I didn't even have the time to flip through my notes to quote cases! Argghh...I hope I didn't do badly bah! Now I just kinda regretted that I skipped those classes just to stay in the lab to finish up my work!

The rainy mood just makes me want to cuddle someone in bed...just to feel the warmth of a special being...

Oh...Xiaotian planned to have a dimsum lunch for today but too bad Jianxiong couldn't make it. So we had a simple one at Crystal Jade. And Xiaotian being her annoying self threw green chili into my tea! She was portioning some of the cut chili out from the container then I told her to add some in her tea to make her tea taste better and she shrieked 'Is it?' and threw that spoonful of chili into my cup! Astounded! Wasted a cup of tea! Oh yah that waitress serving us was such a b***h...really! She got the wrong order and showed faces at us. What the...

Spice tea? My tea could have done better without the chili!

My brother just POP-ed today! So I'm going to get change to pop out with that botak bugger soon...

Are our compasses pointing in the same direction?

You Can Type!

2008-06-10T19:42:00.008+08:00

I was a 'lil bored with mugging my Biz Law so I started playing this 'lil thing my friend sent me...this is not the highest score though! My highest count was 84 with 2 wrong words...so I rather have a perfect one!

82 words
Speedtest

...eeba eeba...

Happy Birthday to Andrew

2008-06-09T18:45:00.005+08:00

Happy 22nd birthday to you Andrew! And soon, we'd have known each other for 2 years. Trust me...time seems to fly like no one's business after you turned 20. I don't get it why too myself! Maybe it's Einstein's Theory of Relativity at work...he kinda thought that size of a being affects his perception of time! Just maybe...

We knew each other after we both broke up with our ex-es. That very first time we met, you were in your number 4 at White Sands waiting your ferry back to Pulau Tekong...you were depressed and I hope you still remember how I tried to cheer you up with that pill box filled with kisses. Now, you've already ORD-ed and you're standing at the start of your career. I'm sorry that I have let Thad came between us. I was very disappointed that time you told me that you were advised to give up on me. 'Cos I thought friends never gave up on each other...

Remember what you gave me for the last Christmas? A personalized card. You pointed out on that our picture on your board was missing. And I kinda knew that the photo was in the card and I do treasure the card a lot. I'm still using the mobile phone pouch you gave me. Remember how we want to stay together if we remain single when we turn old? And remember how we say we'd treat each other to a sumptuous meal when we earn our first ten thousand dollars? I knew yesterday was a bit awkward 'cos I hope to revive our friendship...which I got to realize after I broke up with Thad is much more important than anything else. You're now attached. I'm now attached too. And I hope to share my life with you still...remember: friends forever!

The birthday boy opening his presents with his very nimbly fingers...

Things are getting smooth with Benneth. Very smooth in fact. In my past relationships I'm very used to be the one giving and not taking. Maybe that was my way of 'loving'...and it was seemingly the wrong way 'cos it probably left my poor partner feeling suffocated. Now, I'm trying to give less and learn to take bit by bit...and try to incorporate this love into my life than to portion part of my life for love. It feels much more easier to love...and unusually much simpler! I've been spending a lot of time with Benneth...'cos I enjoy every single moment with him. It feels great...simply having him around. No need to do big things. No need to do special things...just his presence simply makes a great difference. Maybe this is how love should feel...

My heart was jaded and broken. It took me a lot to piece them and plaster them up together again. Yes, I'm afraid that it might be broken again once more. It's probably unsightly and unrecognizable. But that does not forbid me from taking it out and showing it to you...simply because I trust that you would not break it again. I love you...

My friend once asked me why do you love that person. It was a long time ago when I was still with my first ex. I didn't quite know how to reply and so I said I didn't know. And I added: Perhaps it's the feeling he gave me. He shook his head telling me: Sam, that's probably not love. It's a crush. When you truly love someone, that person is irreplaceable and you would try your best to keep him beside you, through thick and thin...

...love is about not getting tired of waking beside the same guy for the rest of your life!

"I Love You"

2008-06-07T21:50:00.006+08:00

It's been a week since we started dating...I don't know about how you count it but that's my impression! Whole of yesterday I was in school playing magic clay with my ptgf. I was thinking of making a pair of keychains for us since it was our week. And you saw them...those green and blue mushroom looking things! Sigh...I didn't know how to give one of them to you 'cos they look really ugly! Sigh...why can't have the hands of my ptgf? The princess she made really looks as though it came off the shelf! Aww...I forgot to take a picture of what she made! Maybe I would when I pop by her hall next time.

We watched American Pie together at my place. It was my third time watching that DVD. It explores the theme of love and sex and how the two different genders view love and sex. Well, it's generally hard for guys to say I love you...'cos guys are generally afraid of committing long term. So, girls, when your boyfriends tell you they love you. They really mean it...and I'm so happy you told me that with me in your arms!

It's heartbreaking to see how Vicky wanted a breakup 'cos she thought they were not going to make it with them separated geographically after Kevin finally told her that he loved her. And Kevin never got over her and still missed her when they met up one year later in a party in American Pie 2 and I really like the song they played at that scene...it's really a very nice song called Always Getting over You by Angela Ammons! I'm not getting the lyrics here 'cos I don't it's no longer applicable to me since I found my 'lil baby!

Dearest baby, thanks for holding my hands so tight each night we sleep together...thanks for coming into my life when I thought there was no such kinda love in this world! And each passing day, as I discover more about you, the more I love you! Thanks for holding my hand and agreeing to let us set off on a crazy journey together...

And there's this song I wanna sing for you...

At the Beginning - Richard Marx and Donna Lewis
We were strangers
Starting out on a journey
Never dreaming
What we'd have to go through
Now here we are
And I'm suddenly standing
At the beginning with you
No one told me
I was going to find you
Unexpected
What you did to my heart
When I lost hope
You were there to remind me
This is the start
Life is a road
And I want to keep going
Love is a river
I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road
Now and forever
Wonderful journey
I'll be there
When the world stops turning
I'll be there
the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you
We were strangers
On a crazy adventure
Never dreaming
How our dreams would come true
Now here we stand
Unafraid of the future
At the beginning with you
Life is a road
And I want to keep going
Love is a river
I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road
Now and forever
Wonderful journey
I'll be there
When the world stops turning
I'll be there
When the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you
I knew there was somebody somewhere
Like me alone in the dark
I know my dream will live on
I've been waiting so long
Nothing's gonna tear us apart
Life is a road
And I want to keep going
Love is a river
I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road
Now and forever
Wonderful journey
I'll be there
When the world stops turning
I'll be there
When the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you
Life is a road and I wanna keep going
Love is a river I wanna keep going on...
Starting out on a journey
Life is a road and I wanna going
Love is river I wanna keep flowing
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

Love is a river that I wanna keep going...with you!

Thought I would do badly for my exam...

2008-06-05T00:56:00.004+08:00

Ha...finally the result for the previous semester is out! I thought I would do badly...especially when I broke up right before exam! Oh well...the result came out and my lowest grade, thankfully, still remained at B+! And sadly, I have no A+ on my result slip this time round. So, my GPA drops slightly again...thankfully, it's not much! I'll have to pull up my socks for the next semester!

Oh yah...thanks to CC! Lalalala...told me HP804 could get A+ one. In the end, I only got B+. So sad...especially I prepared so much for this paper.

Let this be a quick news flash...I got to go!

Work harder...to a brighter future!

为你写诗《吴克群》

2008-06-04T01:36:00.002+08:00

为你写诗《吴克群》

爱情是一种怪事我开始全身不受控制
爱情是一种本事我开始连自己都不是
为你我做了太多的傻事第一件就是为你写诗

为你写诗为你静止
为你做不可能的事为你我学会弹琴写词
为你失去理智
为你写诗为你静止
为你做不可能的事为你弹奏所有情歌的句子
我忘了说最美的是你名字

爱情是一种怪事你的笑容是唯一宗旨
爱情是一种本事我在你心里什么位置
为你我做了太多的傻事第一件就是为你写诗

我什么都能忘记但唯一不忘的是你的名字
我什么都能忘记但唯一不忘的是你的样子
我什么都能忘记但唯一不忘的是你的名字
我什么都能忘记但唯一不忘的是你的样子

…还要为你做更多的事。

當我們都在一起

2008-06-04T00:29:00.003+08:00

The walk around Kallang was beautiful...especially the part we held hands and sing this silly song! Reminded me of the innocent times I had as a kid...there's another old song that I really love!

紅蜻蜓《小虎隊》
飛呀飛呀看那紅色蜻蜓飛在藍色天空
遊戲在風中不斷追逐它的夢
天空是永恆的家大地就是它的王國
飛翔是生活
我們的童年也像追逐成長吹來的風
輕輕的吹著夢想慢慢的昇空
多希望有一天能和它一起飛
當煩惱越來越多玻璃彈珠越來越少
我知道我已慢慢的長大了
紅色的蜻蜓曾幾何時
也在我歲月慢慢不見了
我們都已經長大
好多夢正在飛
就像童年看到的紅色的蜻蜓
我們都已經長大
好多夢還要飛
就像童年看到的紅色的蜻蜓

當我們都在一起…真快樂無比！

Unlucky Day...

2008-06-02T01:24:00.002+08:00

Today was a seriously bad day...things just went totally wrong. First I went to sell away my old lappie. Guess how much did it fetch? Oh my freaking God, I was offered only 300 for it and I decided not to sell it. Who knows when I might need a spare lappie...

Then I headed down to town to get some tickets for an event. I got them luckily but that was the beginning to my bad luck...I had to get some of those 3M Command products for my place and they are so damn hard to get these days...I ran from one supermarket to another in town for at least 2 hours to find them at Carrefour at Suntec City where I got the tickets.

After I got those stuff, I went to one of those gadget shops at the Meridien Hotel to get an iPod. During payment then I realized I dropped my debit card at the counter where I got the tickets more than 2 hours back. I reached for my mobile. Battery was dead. No number to call to cancel the card. I thought of calling the counter where I got the tickets to check if my card was there. I got 3 10 cent coins. I inserted two of them into the wrong slot...apparently, someone broke the eject coin jack and I mistook that hole for the slot you insert the coins. Oh my God. So I inserted my last coin into the correct coin slot to realize that the phone was crappy and it just took that last coin. I went to get change and came back to make the call and what now? The counter just closed. It was totally crappy...

I had no choice but to rush home to cancel the card...seriously, I don't think I had a second day that bad before aside from the first 14 days I spent in Brunei for my overseas posting trip!

Good things may not come all at once...but bad things do!

Happy Birthday to Mark

2008-06-01T01:36:00.007+08:00

Happy 24th birthday to you Mark! Dinner was great...it's been a long time since I last had a dinner with so many friends. I used to have a few cliques of friends and weekends were usually packed with dinners. Until I last got attached...

...things with friends started to fall apart 'cos everyone told me to give up on you...I thought I shouldn't 'cos I thought they couldn't feel you the way I feel you. I was wrong...'cos I was part of the picture. How could I see the picture clearer than they do? You kept telling me how much you gave up for me but I've never said anything like that to you...'cos I told you before love is not quantifiable. It's great to see that now both of us have moved on...I'm starting to appreciate the outcome.
The walk was fantastic...but it wasn't quite complete 'cos I didn't hold your hand. I like the way you looked at me. I like the way you pecked my lips with you in my arms. I like the way we had that crazy shower. Lying in front an ocean so vast, it's not quite imaginable that I could find someone like you...but I did! I wouldn't say I love you 'cos I don't think I know you enough to justify that statement unless it's a lie. Given the chance, I know I would...someday. Trust me...
Trust...is something love cannot do without! Look at us? Trust given and misplaced. Not once. Not twice...thrice! And you told me to give it back to you unconditionally? Am I insane? Unfortunately not!
My heart was broken. Maybe a few times. So there's no way I could give you an unbroken heart. But it's all taped up...with my bloody hands. Nicely wrapped and presented to you...it's not easy to take it out once more and I hope you'd not break it like they did!

Let's stop this emo thing before it gets all out of hand again! Dinner was great at Jumbo Seafood Restaurant at Indoor Stadium...but aside from Mark, David and Derrick, Mark's remaining 9 guests were late. Atrociously late...Alvin, Liangyuan, Raphael and Jinwei got lost on their way from Kallang MRT and I had to rush to their rescue! So, the supposedly 15 minute walk ended up becoming a 45 minute one! Mark's schoolmates, Doranne and Fiona, appeared shortly after. Well, Alexis, being her usual self, came after dinner...2 and a half hours late! Lalalala...okay, let's not be so harsh on her 'cos Jareth overslept as well and reached around 10! Well, I didn't stay after dinner to listen to Alvin's story about his (hookup) trip to Vietnam! Aww...how sad I missed out on all the juicy gossips...

This looks like emm...delicious...but I don't know what it is!

...ah I know this...fried fritters stuffed with fish cake!

Crabby crabs...in chili and in black pepper!

Frantic entrance...2 hours late!

Aww...totally chocolicious!

Guess who? Doranne and Fiona...I don't know who's who though.

Jinwei, me and specky...

...Mark, Derrick and Alexis...

...rofle, Alvin (and Alvina) and dadah...the birthday boy - Mark!

Mark and his present...wah! A Gucci wallet!

Alexis, looks like we have a sleepy Jareth!

Afraid to fall in love...no more! Transiting into a new phase of life...

Take a Bow - Rihanna

2008-05-31T13:27:00.005+08:00

Kinda like this song...tells me a lot of things about the past. But life moves on and I'm kinda happy with how fulfilling things are now...in fact, very happy!

Take a Bow - Rihanna
How 'bout a round of applause?
Standin' ovation
Oh...yeah yeah yeah yeah
You look so dumb right now
Standin' outside my house
Tryin' to apologize
You're so ugly when you cry
(Please) Just cut it out
Don't tell me you're sorry 'cos you're not
Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught
But you put on quite a show
You really had me goin'
But now it's time to go
Curtains finally closin'
That was quite a show
Very entertainin'
But it's over now
Go on and take a bow
Grab your clothes and get gone
(You better hurry up) Before the sprinklers come on
Talkin' 'bout: Girl, I love you you're the one...
This just looks like a rerun
(Please) What else is on?
And don't tell me you're sorry 'cos you're not
Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught
But you put on quite a show
You really had me goin'
But now it's time to go
Curtains finally closin'
That was quite a show
Very entertainin'
But it's over now
Go on and take a bow
And the award for the best liar goes to you
For makin' me believe
That you could be
Faithful to me
Let's hear your speech oh...
How 'bout a round of applause?
Standin' ovation...
But you put on quite a show
You really had me goin'
But now it's time to go
Curtains finally closin'
That was quite a show
Very entertainin'
But it's over now
Go on and take a bow
But it's over now...

Love is a show meant for two...

Hot Passionate Sex in the City?

2008-05-31T12:58:00.005+08:00

Opps...I meant Sex and the City. It's a wonderful show and with a wonderful person, it became a perfect show. Guess I owe Victor once; maybe not 'cos Vicky you didn't hand me his number! Thanks for making the night so perfect...the walk through the swamp...the beer together on the tanning bench at the beach under the starry sky...the walk under the bridge back home! It's been a long time since I went on such a nice stroll...

Humans and dolphins are the only 2 species that have sex for leisure? How sad the other species didn't enjoy it!

Just keeps getting fatter...

2008-05-30T12:02:00.000+08:00

I heard that they came up with a new Popeye's outlet at the Singapore flyer! And it's been like 2 years since I last munched on my last piece of Popeye's biscuit and I was dying for that next bite so I head down to the Singapore flyer with a friend after that hot afternoon swim!

The regular two piece chicken with Cajun fries and coleslaw makes a happy Sam!

Opps...getting fat!

So Popeye's doesn't do spinach?

The flyer doesn't look as flimsy as it seems closeup. On the contrary I find it majestic!

The best part about the whole flyer is that there is this garden park in the center of the facility. Kinda makes the whole place look greener and more spacious! It's like a 'lil urban escape...maybe like a nano-Central Park?

Lushy bushy...greenery!

A flyer shuttle calling port...

...sponsored by Yakult!

Later that night it's kinda like another big feast for me! Teppanyaki at Xiaotian's hall! We were expecting more people but thanks to Andrew for pangseh-ing us and ha...Iris went out of contact before dinner started. But as if I minded when I have more food for myself, Xiaotian right?

Food gahore!

It's zi-zizzling hot on the pan...and where's the ant?

My part time girlfriend and her boyfriend!

Oh yah this lucky girl here got her bf to get her a Wii console for her birthday and sorry we haven't got you your Crumpler bag! Lalalala and don't blame us...blame Crumpler for going out of stocks on those messenger bags!

We just couldn't stop laughing at those silly rabbids...

Children - get awesomely excited over Wii controllers.

This sweet 'lil feline here is Prince! Xiaotian's baby boy!

Oh and it's 4 weeks into the holidays and I've been back in school every single day to get busy with lab work! Oh...finally thought it would be great to let everyone see the place I work in this vacation!

Mutagenic? There's where Ninja turtles were made of?

...just in case you people wonder how it looks inside the white building labeled School of Chemical and Biomedical Engineering in NTU.

I think I have the neatest work bench...the next neater one would be an empty bench!

MSN station!

Life is only as colorful as you wish to paint it!

Oh God...I need a sex change!

2008-05-27T16:18:00.004+08:00

You Inner Gender is Female

You're sensitive, caring, and willing to connect with anyone who's open to you.
You make friends easily, and you enjoy all sorts of conversations.
You understand most people you meet - better than they understand themselves.
You're totally a woman... or at the very least, your soul is female.

What's Your Inner Gender?

Opps...does it mean that I needa go for a sex change? I think these few days I'm insanely happy. I'm not really sure why but I don't get bothered so easily. Maybe I'm starting to see the sunshine beyond the clouds. And I think I'm starting to get a bit irritating to some of my friends by saying lalalala all the time!

Ha...I just saw your blog and I have no idea what are you trying to say! But I still hope you'll give me a chance...

To go with the flow or to be in control?

Nobody Knows It but Me - Babyface

2008-05-26T11:45:00.004+08:00

Nobody Knows It but Me - Babyface

I pretended I'm glad you went away
These four walls closin' more every day
And I'm dying inside
And nobody knows it but me

Like a clown I put on a show
The pain is real even if nobody knows
Now I'm cryin' inside
And nobody knows it but me

Why didn't I say
The things I needed to say
How could I let my angel get away
Now my world is just tumblin' down
I can see it so clearly
But you're nowhere around

The nights are lonely
The days are so sad
And I just keep thinkin' about
The love that we had
And I'm missin' you
And nobody knows it but me

I carry a smile when I'm broken in two
Now I'm nobody without someone like you
I'm tremblin' inside, and nobody knows it but me
I lie awake, its a quarter past three
I'm screamin' at night
As if I thought you'd hear me
Yeah my heart is callin' you
And nobody knows it but me

How blue can I get
You could ask my heart
But like a jigsaw puzzle its been torn all apart
A million words couldn't say just how I feel
A million years from now you know I'll be lovin' you still

The nights are lonely
The days are so sad
And I just keep thinkin' about
The love that we had
And I'm missin' you
And nobody knows it but me

Tomorrow mornin' I'm hittin' the dusty road
Gonna find you wherever, ever you might go
I'm gonna unload my heart
And hope you come back to me
Said when the nights are lonely...

Trying to get used to the lonely nights...

It's all over

2008-05-26T11:25:00.004+08:00

I think running into you was a bad mistake. Yes, I can't deny I miss you. You know. When I keep everything. But you don't always have to pry open my wound. I did call last night to check if you're back safely. But that doesn't mean I care for you more than a friend. You have Jared. You can't have 2 guys at one time. You know you can love many but you've made a choice. Why should I fight for you? I lost the reason. The reason to fight for you...

Yes, the times we had together was marvelous. The times clubbing together on podium when people refer to us as cute couple. The Ubin trip with the NTU guys and your superman stunt. The White Christmas party and together cooking for the party. The Christmas countdown at Orchard and the 3 roses. The New Year cum First Month Cycling trip and the resolution we made at the back of the airport: it was you who told me that you wanted to come back year after year to renew our relationship. The Valentine's Day we spent together at my place and the pebble you gave me...all of them suddenly don't feel precious to me anymore. Especially the look you gave me that night you french kissed my friend right in front of me. The night I rushed down to the pub when you friend called to tell me you were screwing everyone of them up. That clubbing incident you told my friend to do you know what...

You had been given ample chances. Ample chances to hold me tight and tell me that you do love me, but you have to let me go. You don't need to say sorry for those things you have done now. You don't have to say you didn't cherish me back then...

If it were a month ago, I would have cried and softened up...I have moved on and you have a new boyfriend, so quit saying that I still want us back. Please, we wouldn't be able to move on this way. And sadly to say, I'm learning to love myself more. I'm getting more selfish. 'Cos I don't want to get hurt anymore. And I already have interest in someone else...

...so please just let us stay in the past...

It's a pain that wouldn't last...just hang on!

Friends are what you need most!

2008-05-24T01:20:00.002+08:00

Alan, it's been really a long long while since I last met you. I think it's almost 2 years right? And I'm really sorry 'cos of my exams, I couldn't make it for your birthday earlier last month. I'm really sorry. Despite all the missed outings and all, you are still so willing to listen to me really touched me a lot!

Most of us are in this mad rushing to get attached and most of us always get attached before we know each other well enough. Look at me and Nicholas. Look at me and Thad. Yes there were happy moments. But major part of the relationship was shrouded with unhappiness and quarrels. So many things I have given up to pave way for the relationship. I was foolish. Now, I just wanna go out and make friends. Know these people well. If so happens that we end up a couple, then just be it. I'm tired of making new friends. There's no end to it I figured out. So now, I just wanna use all my time to know all my friends better and treat everyone better. It's not going to be easy in this superficial world but I guess I could learn.

Alan, thanks for guiding me through my life for my past few years. I really don't talk to you much these days. But each time I talk to you, you impart so much wisdom to me. I'm getting old. Like you too. I'm starting to get tired to chase a romance like what I was told in fairy tales. It's time to get realistic...

Thanks Xiaotian, my dearest part time girlfriend, for allowing me to pop by your bunk during my long waits between experiments and letting me play with Prince. Oh...where are the pictures of your birthday party? I can't wait to show off the castle cake! Lalalala...

Oh yah, by the way, Indiana Jones isn't a superb movie; comparable with the previous installments. Not really a must catch but it's still great! I won't spoil the movie here so why not just head down to the theater if you're bored.

Friends: they are the treasures of life!

I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking for - U2

2008-05-22T09:31:00.005+08:00

That's the song chosen for David Cook for his last round in American Idol! I found the lyrics quite meaningful...

I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking for - U2
I have climbed highest mountains
I have run through the fields
Only to be with you
Only to be with you
I have run
I have crawled
I have scaled these city walls
These city walls
Only to be with you
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
I have kissed honey lips
Felt the healing fingertips
It burned like a fire
This burning desire
I have spoke with the tongues of angels
I have held the hand of a devil
It was warm in the night
I was cold as a stone
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
I believe in the Kingdom Come
When all the colors will bleed into one
Bleed into one
Well, yes I'm still running
You broke the bonds
And you loosened the chains
Carried the cross
Of all my shame
All my shame
You know I believe it
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for

Maybe certain things are not meant to be found? But discovered?

Finally a break out...

2008-05-21T21:30:00.000+08:00

Oh my flu broke out into a full blown one...a lot of things have happened in my life recently. I was thrown into the shit hole I got out of and I think I've finally got out of it again. I mean no one's at fault when both parties are feeling this way...

I have been back in school for my research program almost every single day for the past 3 weeks and on weekends I have tuition. My life only revolves around work these days until I am so damn tired of it. So I think it's good I take 2 days off to rest and recover from my flu and as well as a break to escape from work!

Rest...rest well!

Say It Again - Marié Digby

2008-05-20T14:39:00.001+08:00

Say It Again - Marié Digby

The thing about love
Is i never saw it coming
It kinda crept up and took me by surprise
And now there's a voice inside my heart that's got me wondering
Is this true, I want to hear it one more time

Move in a little closer
Take it to a whisper
Just a little louder

Say it again for me
'Cos I love the way it feels when you are telling me that I'm
The only one who blows your mind
Say it again for me
It's like the whole world stops to listen
When you tell me you're in love
Say it again

Thing about you is you know just how to get me
You talk about us like there’s no end in sight
The thing about me is that I really want to let you
Open that door and walk into my life

Move in a little closer
Take it to a whisper
Just a little louder

And it feels like it's the first time
That anybody's ever brought the sun without the rain
And never in my whole life
Have I heard words as beautiful as when you say my name

When you tell me you're in love...
Say it again oh...

The concept of time...

2008-05-20T10:20:00.000+08:00

Woo...I'm back in lab on another day of my mid year vacation. Boring and I really hope this time round my experiment would get results. Time is running out and the report has to be in on my prof's desk by last day of June...that's really not a lot of time left for me! Must work harder and pray harder!

I am all along a very efficient person. Time never runs short for me! I always seem to have so much time my ptgf calls me Superman 'cos I have never had nothing beyond due date. But these days I'm starting to lose track of time...I don't know if forgetting to wear watch these few days is a symbol of losing track of time.

I guess I'm still young and love is something that takes a lot of time to build...suddenly, I feel stupid that I'm always in search of it and in search of it fast! Maybe that's my efficiency at work...yah, maybe they are all right! I'm so engross in getting things right all the time and fast, I try to make love happens the same way too! Maybe I should start learning to devote more of my free time to do other things that I like and stop dwelling on getting love right and fast...you know I still like you and I'll wait!

Time and tide waits for no one? What about through incidents, we learn...

Chiseled to be stronger?

2008-05-19T11:53:00.000+08:00

Oh yah it's been a long long while since I last blogged. A really long while and there are 101 things that I wanna say...

Been not very good! Had the second relationship of my life. Thought it's going to be a life long one but it just turned out as short lived as the previous one...and I can't help to be skeptical about promises! Promise of a future together...maybe like what everyone says: promises are made to be broken!

Oh yah...Say it Again by Marie Digby is a pretty nice song! I wonder if I could ever find that someone who would never be tired to say: I love you all day long...

Sometimes we do not treasure what we have until it's lost!

Apologize

2007-09-21T14:27:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, we do things so fast we don't stop to think to wonder...to look at everything as a whole. Then when something goes wrong, we just hope that we could reverse time and redo everything...

Life is something we could only do right for once...

The Annoying Imperial Unit...

2007-08-23T13:43:00.000+08:00

This semester I have to study this subject called Fluid Mechanics and the prob is most chemical engineers deal with chemicals and fluids using the Imperial measurements so our texts and tutorials are all given in Imperial units. So it's time to wave goodbye to 9.81 N m^-1 and 8.31 J K-1 mol-1 and other constants expressed in the SI units. It's really annoying to handle those freaking units. One simple example is the pound. Like it took one whole freaking day to realize that one pound-mass and one pound-weight are different i.e. 1 lb is not 1 lb...duh! And it took me many many hours to do many many readings to figure out that 1 lb-f = 1 lb-m * 32.2 ft s-2. And 32.2 is the new g i have to get myself familiarized.

For those ignorant ones, there's this funny 'lil unit known as degree Rankine (deg R) for measuring temperature. OMG! The Americans are coming up with more units to fit themselves nicely into scientific world. And 0 deg R happens to be at the same point with 0 Kel but unlike the Kelvin division, it has the Farenheit division...duh!

And another unit that stumbled me the whole of today is the pound-mole! Argghh...never did know in my whole life the mole I've been dealing with for the past 10 years is called the gram-mole to engineers! Maybe the world would be better if we come to agree with a standard unit. Just maybe. But if everything is so fixed, then there wouldn't be fun...like how my Cultural Transition lecture loves to say: culture is nothing without contrast.

The imperfect world could be the most perfect thing in the Universe.

Happy 42nd Birthday, Singapore!

2007-08-13T00:13:00.000+08:00

Wow it's another national day and I was out with Tin to catch a show: 881. The trailer wasn't appealing, not to me, but I promised it's a really great show! Don't jump to conclusion that it's a bad show because it's a getai show but they made used of the getai settings to film this Hokkien musical about sisterhood de. I cried at the end of the show. It's really really touching and I suggest you bring your parents there too!

Right after the show, I was supposed to rush down for a BBQ with my Neuve OG mates. Some senior freshie gettogether to enhance our relationships. But suddenly had no company for the evening and he wanted to watch the fireworks and it'd be very sucky to watch such a grand event alone. So I thought since there was already a crowd at Xuetian's place, must as well I appeared later while keeping this friend of my accompanied.

Since the National Day Parade was held at Marina Bay, so my idea was to get up to the Sheares Bridge so as to catch the full view of the fireworks. But don't know for what reason, they blocked all the steps up to the bridge. So no choice, the next best site to catch the fireworks would be at Nicoll Highway outside Fullerton Quay. So we tried to walk there along Singapore River outside Marina Square. Bad bad idea and we got stuck among the Bangladeshi workers. It was really a nightmare. We barely moved. No choice, so all we could do was to look for the best spot to park ourselves so as not to be blocked by heads.

The fireworks weren't very fantastic lah. Bom bom bom and how fancy could it get? But they really overdid it this year and the sky ended up all smoky and just blocked the light of further fireworks out...quite pointless ah!

Friday was a bad bad day at school! The incident during the Mechanics lecture just spoilt my day totally. Felt so bad until I spoilt all my friends' mood over dinner...

Stand up for Singapore!

From Freshie to Senior...

2007-08-07T23:11:00.000+08:00

It was the first day of school yesterday and the first lecture was on the subject of Biomaterials by Prof. Philips Chiang and he didn't appear for it! Not his fault but 'cos the school supplied him with the wrong venus and timing so he appeared on our Fluid Systems lecture. And all because of this misarrangement, he had to make up his first lecture over our lunch break and we all had Mac during his lecture. Philips, and he told us to call him that, is my fav lecturer lor 'cos he's so funny and witty during his class, like today he came up to me and stole a piece of fries out from my McDonald's bag. And on his intro of himself in his lecture notes was with a picture of him wearing this snorkling mask underwater! It was so cute! And in his lecture slides, it was him wearing a racing helmet beside and racing car!

It's good to see all my coursemates around again. The bitching the gossiping and the laughing over lunch breaks and the mugging hard together during exam period. It's amazing how each of us has changed that little bit over the holidays (except Jianxiong lah. But not I say one.) Oh yes, it's quite cool to be greeted by the new huge TV screen at the side entrance to NTU: that one bus service 179 enters and exits NTU. But it was not to seniors. It says: Welcome All Freshmen to NTU! Sian.

Things advance with time. We could choose to progress with it or choose to remain behind and be forgotten...

Happy 21st Birthday to Eechow

2007-08-05T05:45:00.000+08:00

Nerk? Geek? Or Dork?

2007-08-03T02:22:00.000+08:00

Your Score: Pure Nerd

52 % Nerd, 34% Geek, 26% Dork

For The Record:
A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia.
A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one.
A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions.
You scored better than half in Nerd, earning you the title of: Pure Nerd.
The times, they are a-changing. It used to be that being exceptionally smart led to being unpopular, which would ultimately lead to picking up all of the traits and tendences associated with the "dork." No-longer. Being smart isn't as socially crippling as it once was, and even more so as you get older: eventually being a Pure Nerd will likely be replaced with the following label: Purely Successful.
Congratulations!
Also, you might want to check out some of my other tests if you're interested in any of the following:
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Professional Wrestling
Love & Sexuality
America/Politics
Thanks Again! -- THE NERD? GEEK? OR DORK? TEST

Link:The Nerd? Geek? or Dork? Test written by donathos on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Finally My Room Looks More Complete...

2007-08-02T23:36:00.000+08:00

Finally lugged one more table back home and completed my study and work area in my room. But the shopping at Ikea was really a nightmare and they have very bad logistics management...

I wanted this piece of Vika Amon table top: dimension 100 cm x 60 cm. Oh yah, birch effect one. I want this particular piece because I want two desks of similar sizes and look. I wanted to get the second piece since May and since May, they have been telling me that it's out of stock and stock would only be shipped in in 2 weeks. Nevermind that first time, I went back 2 weeks later, they told me shipment had not arrived yet and I had to wait for 2 more weeks. Another 2 weeks went by, still another 2 weeks and until yesterday, they told me another thing - i.e.: this item is discontinued and will no longer be replenished. OMG, so you wasted my 3 months waiting for that bloody table top?

No point making a big fuss there 'cos it's not going to make them ship in one more piece of table top just for me. Just count myself bad luck. So I had no choice but to go for the closest thing i.e. table top of the same finishing but just 20 cm longer for double the price.

Second bad encounter was at the cashier: I forgot to bring my Friends card so I asked if she could credit the reward points to my account by my I/C number. She said no. Okay but maybe she was kind enough to tell me that she could credit my points to my account if I knew my account number. 12 digit long. And as if I could remember the number of card that I hardly use. Nevermind. But I couldn't stand she had to rub it in by saying: what a pity, it's double the points during sales period! Argghh!

Fainted. Kind enough to ask for my card number but couldn't see that I'm full of those small items and didn't bother to ask if I needed a bag when I was bagless. Nevermind.

The table on the right is the new member of the room...

I like these 3 boards. Have been wanting to stick old pictures but haven't found the time...

Cherish the good old days...

思念是一種病<張震嶽>

2007-08-02T12:32:00.001+08:00

當你在穿山越嶺的另一邊
我在孤獨的路上沒有盡頭

一輩子有多少的來不及
發現已經失去最重要的東西
恍然大悟早已遠去
爲何總是在犯錯之後
才肯相信錯的是自己
他們說這就是人生
試著體會試著認住眼淚
還是躲不開應該有的情緒
我不會奢求世界停止轉動
我知道逃避一點都沒有用
只是這段時間裏尤其在夜裏
還是會想起難忘的事情
我想我的思念是一種病
久久不能痊愈

當你在穿山越嶺的另一邊
我在孤獨的路上沒有盡頭
時常感覺你在耳後的呼吸
卻未曾感覺你在心口的鼻息

濟濟嚶嚶
忘記身邊的人需要愛和關心
藉口總是拉遠了距離
不知不覺無聲無息
我們總是在抱怨事與願違
卻不願意後頭看看自己
想想自己到底做了什麽蠢事情
也許是上帝給我一個試練
只是這傷口需要花點時間
只是會想念過去的一切
那些人事物會離我遠去
而我們終究也會遠離
變成回憶

哦…思念是一種病
哦…思念是一種病一種病
多久沒有說我愛你
多就沒有擁抱你所愛的人
當這個世界不再那麽美好
只有愛可以讓它更好
我相信一切都來得及
別管那些紛紛擾擾
別讓不開心的是停下了腳步
就怕你不說就怕你不做
別讓遺憾繼續一切都來得及

我也恍然大悟，漸漸發覺到很多事情是沒有原因的。即使知道了原因，也無法改寫過去的一切，只要是愛了試了，知道自己以全力以赴了，也就不要有遺憾了…

4 in the Morning - Gwen Stefani

2007-08-01T00:08:00.000+08:00

Wakin' up to find another day
The moon got lost again last night
But now the sun has finally had it's say
I guess I feel alright

But it hurts when I think, when I let it sink in
It's all over me
I'm lying here, in the dark I'm watchin' you sleep, it hurts a lot

And all I know is
You've got to give me everything
And nothing less 'cause
You know I'd give you all of me

I'd give you everything that I am
I'm handin' over everything that I've got
'Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don't ever wanna have to go and give you up
Stay up 'til four in the morning and the tears are pouring
And I wanna make it worth the fight
But what have we been doing for all this time
Baby if we're gonna do it come and do it right

All I wanted was to know I'm safe
Don't wanna lose the love I found
Remember when you said that you would change
Don't let me down
It's not fair, how you are
I can't be complete, can you give me more?

And all I know is
You've got to give me everything
And nothing less 'cause
You know I'd give you all of me

Oh please, you know what I need (You know what I need)
Save all your lovin' for me
We can't escape the love Give me everything that you have

And all I know is
You've got to give me everything
And nothing less 'cause
You know I'd give you all of me

Last Day...Bad Day!

2007-07-31T22:54:00.000+08:00

Finally my last day at work at NCC! Not really a bad thing even though I know I would miss all the fun and the dirty crap jokes those technicians crack in the back room. Anyway, this new girl at Parkway Parade NCC must come and ruin my last day lah! Annoyed and pissed me off totally.

The first few things she did that annoyed me were to make me clear up her shit. Oh, she was attending to customers at the info counter by the way. And each time a customer popped up with a question she couldn't answer, she would just come to me. No no! I should rephrase that: she referred every single customer to me whenever they asked her a question. Damn hell annoying! I got so pissed I told her off: hey man, I'm not here to do customer service. She could have gone to the technicians instead of coming to annoy me whenever I'm helping her with another customer!

Next thing she did to annoy me: asking me to help her buy bubble milk tea! And paid me back with loads of coins and giggled: finally I rid those coins! Freak!

The final last thing that made me not even bothered to say bye bye to her: coming to up to show off how to draw Snoopy when I was doodling off on this piece of paper! Freak! Now even simply by describing what she has done to spoil my day is making my blood boil...

Oh yah! Yuting came back and we had another class gathering! A great round of applause for Ningyi! Thanks for organizing this outing! And many thanks to all the compliments, girls, for saying that I've turned more buff!

Does this remind you of the feasting scene in Harry Potter?

Maybe not if you haven't seen the whole picture!

Not leaning on Wanyu on purpose! But 'cos that lady who helped us with this picture kept asking us to squeeze!

Oh before I end this post! I just got a new tuition student. JC1. That makes her 5 years younger than me and that made her a P6 student when I was in JC1...humpf, it's scary how time slips by and how much we grow! And thanks to all you JC classmates for creating such beautiful memories of JC life!

Time can draw a line between us but it can never steal the memories we have in our heart.

Things Just Don't Feel Right...

2007-07-25T22:11:00.000+08:00

One last week before this job ends. I really couldn't imagine I could make it to the end of this three month term. Still remember the first day of work at NCC Century Square. Wah...my job machiam like kenna punished standing 'cos I had to stand beside the 'There's a newer version of your phone on cyberspace.' sign the whole day and that day, my buddy and I only got our first customer at 6 pm, which was 7 hours after the opening time of the center. Today was my last day stationed there at Century Square; Friday would be my last day at Suntec City NCC; and Tuesday would be my very last day with Nokia at Parkway Parade NCC. And if you happen to pass by any of these centers, let me know and maybe we could go for lunch...

My friend's Nokia phone went gigi and so I told him to come down to let us see. I didn't think it would take long to get it fixed but the prob of his phone seems to be a rather big one and his phone has to be retained for a week. He flies a lot and he doesn't have a spare phone so I thought it'd be nice if I loan him my phone 'cos I still have a Sony T610 with me. But freak, after he flew off, I realized the T610 I have has some prob: there's some problem with the charging mechanism and now, it's lying dead on my desk! Sian...now have to fall back on my very very old Nokia 3330! Freaky hard to use with those few buttons...hope I could get back his N95 soon so I could get back my sweet 'lil N73 soon!

We normally don't cherish what we have until we lose them...

Happy 25th Birthday to CK

2007-07-17T14:56:00.000+08:00

Today is CK's birthday and we already had our 'lil group outing on Saturday to have a mini celebration. Due to tuition and late confirmation, CK, please pardon me for my late appearance...

Let's digress a bit...today while I was gymming at Kallang, there were tons of girls there. It's just interesting...and after some asking around, I got to know that there was some National Stadium awareness program to let people know about its history and get a last chance to shoot some photos before demolishing it. So I took this same chance to have a last look at it...

Our glorious National Stadium...

...again, it's the narcissistic me!

A very delicately handmade birthday card by our artsy crafty Jeffrey...

Smokkka!

Mystical wine glass. I took this picture at the pub...

The foreseeable future is never foreseeable...

Always Thought All Factories Mass Produce...

2007-07-14T13:15:00.000+08:00

I was deployed to Suntec City NCC for work yesterday so for lunch I thought must as well queue for donuts from Donut Factory since the queue is normally exactly one hour long as well...I normally wouldn't queue for this kind of stupid things but (of course there would be a but) this was some big task handed down by my in-charge. So I thought like that could extend my lunch period and also can get some for myself and an NS friend I got out Harry Potter and my auntie who came back to Singapore for a short work trip.

I thought this is a pretty decent view I got out of this narrow corridor at the end of the one hour queue...

Donuts! Donuts! All sorts of donuts fresh from the ovens...

The Harry Potter show this friend got was scheduled to screen at 11.30 pm so from after work 'til then was a long period of time...so we went window shopping at Marina Square...really window shopping 'cos all the stores were already closed and we saw some hanky panky in action...

Ha! Astro Boy caught red-handed...

Chip! No mushroom humping in public!

...and nicely before the show was our donut supper...at McDonald's!

3...2...1...

...donuts-in-box!

Assorted love...

Good Old Pals...

2007-07-12T23:52:00.000+08:00

This post should be put up a 'lil earlier but being late is better than never...it's quite strange how I lost contacts with my Sec 3 Sec 4 classmates while I still remain in touch with my Sec 1 Sec 2 classmates. However, as each of us got on with our busy lives, these half yearly outings are coming later and later from those dates they were scheduled. But it doesn't matter I supposed 'cos each time we meet, those old days were like yesterday...

This time round, we had our dinner at Sakae Sushi Restaurant at the Hereens and we had guests from 1A 2A class as well as some other guys from our own class on top of the usual 5 of us...

We have ehh...Shuming, Yanchai, CC, Yihan, Larry, me!, SD, BY, Benedict and Teckchew...should have got wide lens camera 'cos GQ and JY got cut off...

Nobody never misses those good old days, but in life, on we have to move...

Huh? What Tea?

2007-07-12T14:18:00.000+08:00

Haven't been updating my blog for a long long time. So far, many things had happened. Great memories: happy ones sad ones and I guess it's going to take me quite some time to recount them...I'll find time to see if I could slowly put up the pictures I wanted to.

I got a job at Nokia Care Center as a part time promoter for this summer vacation. Oh no! Don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those walking bibles for Nokia phones and not one of those you could ask for Nokia phones at staff rate. My job there was to promote awareness for Nokia software upgrade or NSU. You know now you could do NSU at home...and blah blah. And I'm not going to preach about it like I do at work.

All I'm going to say about it is that it's a boring job. So most the time I hide in the back room to avoid being jumped on by customers with bad phones. So finally today those technicians asked for my name. I said Samuel and they went huh and they got it as simmee (meaning what in Hokkien). Really I didn't know I was so bad at pronouncing my own name. Eventually they got hold of my surname, and my name in full, thus, became simmee teh i.e. what tea! Duh! But life there is fun lah 'cos they kept calling me daxuesheng (meaning university student in Mandarin). Sadly, my term with them is coming to an end real soon.

Simple equation of life: simplicity + happiness = constant!

Last Class Outing of the Year!

2006-12-31T13:47:00.000+08:00

We really ought to thank Yuting for planning all the class outings this December! Today she organized one to her place to play mahjong and go Chomp Chomp Food Center to have dinner. Haiz...speaking of mahjong, I can't play mahjong this year lor! I think I'm damn suay. Whenever I play, I sure lose money...I lost man tai to everyone at Weili's birthday because I xiao xiang gong. That set of tiles I got was fantastic lor! But I was overjoyed and forgot to bu hua and made my set of tiles became xiao xiang gong! Haiz...luckily, not many days of this year is left and I hope for better luck next year!

Chomp! Chomp! And chomped!

Everyone...big and small?

Strangely, all the girls think I'm buffier now but then they say the sad truth is I'm still the same old me! Haiz...I'm still going to annoy the shit out of you guys man! *Evil grin*

A leopard can never change its spots.

Last Friday of the Year!

2006-12-30T15:38:00.000+08:00

Today ah? I was supposed to go Johor to eat seafood and shop with a friend but in the end, that bugger woke up like at 7 pm? Argghh...nevermind lor! Have to thanks Aeron for letting me 'help' out in his bunk cleaning...actually I think I messed up more than I helped. Eh...and thanks Andrew and Jeffrey for accompanying me out on this lonely Friday night.

I don't know why but lately I have been very moody. Anything small could easily pissed me and I ain't usually like that. Maybe I'm over worrying things...

Oh yah! I was supposed to meet up with Benjamin to pierce our ears together but so sad Benjamin got his relief teaching job and he no longer wants to pierce his ear 'cos he wants to be a good role model to his students. Eh...I think I better not comment on that! Em...

Got back my results for my first semester at school! I was rather stunned by it...not 'cos it's bad but it's unexpected. I didn't get A+ for Economics. I thought the paper was rather easy and every one told me it was hard. Thought I could do better than an A...and another unexpected one was Biomolecular Engineering. I screwed up Quiz 2 and exam badly 'cos of my ill preparation and I got an A+. Em...interesting! Overall, I'm darn happy with my own result 'cos I got 4.93 as my GPA! So damn happy! Treats...treats...treats...ah, I think I'm going crazy!

Oh yah, I was at the Esplanade with Andrew and Jeffrey and we saw how they deco Marina Bay up for the countdown to the new year! Damn cool and pretty lor! So just couldn't help it but to take some pictures!

Caution! I'm hot and I bet I really am!

Wow! So many buoys? Are there really so many boats to lead?

Spotlight-works display? So they are out of funds for fireworks display? Hmm...

Just in time to miss Jesus and his disciples...

Friends could be more important than you thought...love them well too!

02S75 Rocks!

2006-12-28T02:29:00.000+08:00

Yuting came back from Australia and tomorrow Yenchui is leaving for UK. It seems like all my friends are flying all over the place for exchange programs. Yuting wanted to have a 'lil gathering before Yenchui leaves. So she organized this KTV cum talk cock session today. And I wasn't informed until yesterday! Thanks hor! My fault for not checking the class Yahoo! Group lor! But it's still great to see those great ex-classmates, like Wanyu, Chen En, Mingqi, Yuting and...the one I haven't seen since release of A Level results...Qiumei! Qiumei, you really have slimmed down a lot lor!

And yah! The damn narcissistic me took a picture of my own reflection...

Somehow, me just can't stop admiring myself...

The four big sky kings...

Hey you know who you are, don't get jealous okay? *Shit stirring*

That's what you see when you look into a Christmas ball...

...reunion!

Muggerified...

So, There's a Hidden Meaning to My Birthdate?

2006-12-28T01:42:00.001+08:00

Your Birthdate: January 22

You don't love lightly. For you, love is always a serious undertaking. However, you are able to love many types of people. You can bring out the best in almost anyone. Love surprises you often. You never know when or where you'll find it next.

Number of True Loves You'll Have: 4

Number of Times You'll Have Your Heart Broken: 5

You are most compatible with people born on the 4th, 13th, 22nd, and 31st of the month.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean For Your Love Life?

It's a Wet Christmas!

2006-12-26T15:54:00.000+08:00

Christmas eve was rainy. I was out at Orchard with a friend and I met a few others! But the rain spoiled the Christmasy feeling...

Christmas at the Cathay...

...and Christmas at the Hereens...and where are the Bangladeshis?

Today I went to the temple to pray. I tiew chiam and I thought must as well get one of those chiam readers outside the temple to help me read the chiam since it's only 2 bucks to get it analyzed. That chiam reader I went to told me what this what that and gave me a whole bunch of joss papers to tell me to burn. After that, I asked him how much is the reading. And wah! He told me it's 36 bucks! I was totally stunned. Huh? 36 bucks. Fuck! So I told him I only had 10 bucks. He told my 10 bucks and took back most of those joss papers. He said 10 bucks I could only have this much...eh? A set of those papers outside probably costs him only around 50 cents and his value added them to 12 bucks? Eh? After that, he brought me to another guy who brought me to another temple to burn the paper and got a lady to chant some prayers for me. That lady asked for ang bao from me and asked me to give some money for lamp oil for the deities. Emm...wah! Need so much money ah? I told her I had no money! Too bad for her...seriously, these people are out there to knock as much money as possible from you. So next time, when you guys go temple, do take care.

Today is my last day of work this year! As in for year 2006. And I would be serving a banquet for the last time as a waiter. So I thought must as well wear a better pair of leather shoes instead of my No. 3 leather shoes. And I did. I was out with them to the temple and Bugis Junction before going to work. And I didn't know the gum between the soles of the shoes and the leather had hardened and weakened. So, as I walked the soles came off and when I reached my work place, the whole soles came off...so I was left with only the leather covering. And there's nothing at the bottom except a piece of cloth. Haiz...as I walked in and out of the kitchen at the restaurant, my feet became totally soaked in those dirty water. Sian man! So suay even on my last day of work!

This Christmas I got a lot of things for myself. I got a Crumpler bag. And there's a reason behind it 'cos I never like Crumpler 'cos I think it's seriously overpriced. I got contact lenses. And I'm going to get myself a new wallet to replace my torn Billabong one before New Year's Day. A Braun Buffel one!

One pair of shoes...sliced...tops and bottoms!

Grey again...'cos it's simply my favorite color!

What's Christmas without joy?

Laborer Once More!

2006-12-21T23:54:00.000+08:00

I couldn't take the boredom at home doing nothing so I gave my agent at Recruit Express a call and zap...she called me on Tuesday afternoon straight away and told me she had an assignment at hand for me!

Warehouse again but nevermind lah since could lose weight and could save on gym costs as well, why not? But frankly this job isn't as tough as in you don't have to move furniture; all you have to do is to pick out spare parts according to a picking list and pack them into cartons to be exported. Much like doing shopping whole day long...but comparatively, I prefer to work at with that furniture company 'cos as you travel from place to place to deliver furniture, you could sleep on the truck and get some rest. But here, this endless shopping is seriously sian! And luckily tomorrow's my last day with this company! Yay!

My departmental store...

Nope! Not PCK's feet...those are my big safety boots!

OMG! That's the endless shopping list!

Oh yah! Me is very clumsy at work...yesterday while prepping a box for loading the spare parts I accidentally got myself cut by a big loosely hung staple on the carton. And today, me got cut by the fins of cooling parts of the fridge while packing them up onto the racks! Yesterday got my index finger cut, today my middle finger and I couldn't help but to wonder would I cut my ring finger tomorrow. Best is not!

Things that are supposed to go wrong would go wrong.

Happy Happy Birthday to You!

2006-12-16T15:49:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow's the birthday of one of my best friends...I didn't know what to get him so was thinking of making his birthday special by baking him a cheesecake! I probed him and got to know that he likes strawberry cheesecake! But the freaky thing is to make a strawberry cheesecake, I need an oven! Shucks! 'Cos I don't have one! So Junlin really thanks for loaning your kitchen to me to make this cheesecake possible!

Crusty crust!

Wow! Couple eggs!

...and more eggs!

Eww...what a gluey yummy mixture!

Strawberries waiting for their prosecution!

How come it doesn't rise?

Flattened cake? No worries, it's just a test cake!

Tadaa...yummilicious?

Hey man, if you are reading this post! Be grateful okay? I gave my virgin cake to you! Hope those who eat it tomorrow won't kenna diarrhea...

The most expensive gifts are those that don't come with a price tag!

...Almost 9 Years of Friends!

2006-12-16T02:51:00.000+08:00

I woke up early damn early this morning 'cos of two reasons. One is 'cos I had a weird dream and second is today I was going to meet up with my lower secondary school buddies!

Oh let's talk about the warped dream...I dreamt I scored straight As for all my first sem subjects! But! Yah, but except for Chemistry! I almost died...not 'cos I wasn't happy with the result in my dream but 'cos I have that thing for Chemistry and I did badly for it! I wouldn't really rest my mind the whole day 'cos that dream is really quite disturbing! 'Til now, we have no clue when the school is going to release our results but I really hope it'd be my best Christmas present...

I took the NEL to Vivo City to meet my old friends, and I have this compulsive weird habit of walking to the head or the end of the train whenever I am commuting alone. I don't get why but it always happens and I wouldn't sit down on the NEL; most times, I'd just walk to the end of the train and look out as the train pulls out from each station...it just makes me feel good! Don't ask me why 'cos I really don't know! Maybe it's some psychological thing? Like I'm stuck in some situation which I'm dying to get out of...just maybe!

Do you feel good seeing this sight?

It's always good to meet up with old friends...especially very good old friends! I will never forget those days we biah so hard together in school to be the top few in class! Still remember how other classmates used to call us the KSA (Kiasu Association)? And yah, if I don't remember wrongly, GQ is the president...

Now, we hardly have the time to meet up with each other regularly but it's still good whenever we meet up, we always have things to chat about! School, relationship (for YC only), and work (for YC only again!)...always keep in touch okay guys? Friends forever!

Big businessman, stop showing off your Dopod!

My yummy pork chop fried rice!

Argghh...that arm spoilt this picture!

Nothing special but I find that Chinese ship special!

...how funny they ask us to put the number display at the edge!

Friends for once, friends for forever!

It's All Your Fault!

2006-12-14T00:28:00.000+08:00

Finally today is my last day of work as a laborer with this furniture company! And goodbye to backache! But something annoying happened before I bidded goodbye to my colleagues...

Today I was teamed with 2 other guys to help set up 3 TV consoles at the showroom! The consoles were MIC and the instructions that came with them were so vague and we really had no clue on how to assemble them! And through trial and error, we managed to erect one in 5 hours! Imagining going to a client's place and taking 5 hours to set up a console! The guys would be made a laughing stock man! But getting the seh, it became much easier to form up the remaining two consoles...the last one we assembled was the largest one so instead of sitting around watching them do the hard work, I tried to be nice and helped out. Oh, 'cos being helpful is just one of my traits! *Grin* And back to the story, yah, I accidentally placed a plank of wood the wrong way and no one noticed. After we did up the whole thing, the drawer tracks couldn't fit 'cos of the mistake and we had to pull apart the whole thing and reassemble. I won't deny it's my fault but it didn't take much work to correct it really...just flop the top panel yank the plank out and slot it in again! Then this guy said, "All because of you, we had to do so much more!" Stunned...I didn't know being helpful was wrong man! I didn't have to do nothing but to sit around 'cos my job is to follow the delivery man to assist in delivery and uhhum, instead of being appreciated, I was sarcastically criticized. Com'on, I fitted 5 drawers out of 6. That saved a lot of work man. Much more than required in correcting the error. Just felt so sian about it 'cos that guy had been quite nice to me all along! Haiz...

Burnt!

Yesterday, after work, I went with one of my aunts to the supermarket to get stuff to bake a strawberry cheesecake for fun 'cos it seems like all my friends are into some kinda baking frenzy...but she didn't have the baking oven, so I had to make do with the toasting oven. But the sad reality was you couldn't control the temperature...so my cheesecake ended up: burnt! Nevermind, I'll try again soon! Real soon!

Living in a world where everyone discredits everyone...

You're the Star!

2006-12-13T00:48:00.002+08:00

You are The Star

Hope, expectation, Bright promises.

The Star is one of the great cards of faith, dreams realised

The Star is a card that looks to the future. It does not predict any immediate or powerful change, but it does predict hope and healing. This card suggests clarity of vision, spiritual insight. And, most importantly, that unexpected help will be coming, with water to quench your thirst, with a guiding light to the future. They might say you're a dreamer, but you're not the only one.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Vegetarian? Maybe Not...

2006-12-12T22:49:00.000+08:00

It's funny how all the laborers in this furniture store are vegetarians! The first lunch I had there was bought by one of them. And the dishes that came with the mixed dishes rice were stirred fried horn bean, caramel deep fried rice cracker and dried beancurd! OMG! I almost died 'cos the whole thing was so gross I was near to eating nothing! 'Cos I ate only the rice...

Today, I accompanied a colleague to get his vegetarian lunch at this vegetarian food stall at the coffee shop opposite Great World City. There were fake charsiew, fake chinese sausage, fake ham, fake fried drumstick and all the fake meat stuff...how ironic huh? People go vegetarian 'cos they believe it's sinful to kill but isn't it funny how they satisfy their desire to eat meat by replacing with beancurd made fakes? I don't know and I just find it contradicting...

White lies...simply oxymoronic!

Laborer Extreme

2006-12-10T13:46:00.000+08:00

Freak! I didn't know it's this hard to shift furniture! It's damn tiring and it's back breaking and the best part is I'm only earning 6 bucks for all the effort I put in! So interesting huh? When I was going clerical work the other time at SDSC, all I had to do is to run around and source for parts for OT control panel and call nurse system, I was paid 10 bucks an hour; and it was a job much easier than the one I'm doing now!

Oh yah! I haven't described my current part time job! I'm a furniture delivery man. So I have to lug sofas and dining tables up stairs to the houses of customers! These are not cheap sofas and dining tables. These are sofas and dining tables made in Italy from high grade materials...see the chair below? Guess the price? It's freaking three thousand bucks! OMG right?! And yah the sofa sets I sent on my first day of work, which I think was Wednesday! One set was around forty thousand! Freaky, man! I started to wonder how much these people earn to afford such luxuries. Haiz...it's life you have to admit it! And the laborers carrying these stuff could never even earn close that that amount in 2 years! Well, aspiring huh? And hope to get rich someday huh? But these people could never afford the time to sit down and enjoy these expensive toys they buy. Maybe a simple life is also a bliss.

Dining chair for the rich?

Oh, yesterday was the worst day of my life! Or at least I think so! From morning 8 'til 5, I was oustide all around Singapore delivering furniture and after that from 7 to 11.30, I was outside at a hotel working as a banquet waiter! My back is seriously badly aching now and I only earned about 70 bucks! Money is seriously hard earned...haiz! Better not complain and get on with life 'cos life is simply too short so don't waste time on procrastinating!

Money and time - the ultimate juggling act!

Christmas Present for Myself

2006-12-06T23:15:00.000+08:00

Wow! Guess what?! I ditched the crappy W800i and got my new N73! Seriously, it's fantastic and no phone is that great looking and yet that sophisticatedly simple! I'm just so elated now! But it's not user friendly 'cos it took me quite a while to figure out how to keypad lock it and 'til now, I haven't gotten rid of the ugly operator logo! Pissed!

I'm quite an idiot right? Spent $98 on it when I'm tight on money and now I have to psycho myself to tell myself it's all worth it. Maybe it really is 'cos my W800i kept turning itself off in the middle of conversations and it's really ticking me off and the handsfree set wasn't working and a new set costs $68. So, let's just put it this way: it's a Christmas present for myself!

Oh yah! I've found a job! Finally! But it's only for a week! To be some warehouse guy carrying furniture around! Bad! But let's hope it'd be a good experience since I've never done this kinda job before!

Oh yah! I was a damn retard when going down to sign the contract with the agent who found me the job. She told me she needed something to show my bank account number and I thought the easiest way would be to go get some money and show her the withdrawal receipt. So I withdrew some money. And I threw the receipt away unknowingly! Argghh bloody retarded right? Haiz...I'm getting more and more cranky these days! And to illustrate that: I really smiled at my new phone the whole day!

Foolish people are the sweetest people because they don't harbor evil thought!

Rehi to All!

2006-12-06T07:29:00.000+08:00

It's been a long long time since I last posted; I think it was about a year ago since I last blogged! Sorry 'cos I really haven't got the time to blog!

Now, this is a new blog and I really hope to dedicate some time of each day to put the great experience of each and every day!

Look carefully and you'll soon discover each day is different!

.: s a m U e l ' s b l o g ::

It's Been a Long While...

Best of Me - Daniel Powter

Bad Luck with Gadgets...

Sorry...

Wah...that's what my name says...

It's Been Awhile...

It's Oval

Perfect Cut

Broken Silence?

Sand Storm...

Greetings from Hong Kong

Love You 'Til the End...

Seeing through the Red Dust...

I'll Be - Edwin McCain

Collide - Howie Day

The Deep Impact...

Lies...

Chill?

Oh...and that's L.I.F.E.

Emolicious!

Is this Who I Am?

Lost...

非你莫属 《Tank》

Feeling Disturbed...

Hearsays...

Shopping Fun

Oh Beware! I'm the Devil!

Last Ubin Trip...

Rainy Day Rainy Mind

You Can Type!

Happy Birthday to Andrew

"I Love You"

Thought I would do badly for my exam...

为你写诗 《吴克群》

當我們都在一起

Unlucky Day...

Happy Birthday to Mark

Take a Bow - Rihanna

Hot Passionate Sex in the City?

Just keeps getting fatter...

Oh God...I need a sex change!

Nobody Knows It but Me - Babyface

It's all over

Friends are what you need most!

I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking for - U2

Finally a break out...

Say It Again - Marié Digby

The concept of time...

Chiseled to be stronger?

Apologize

The Annoying Imperial Unit...

Happy 42nd Birthday, Singapore!

From Freshie to Senior...

Happy 21st Birthday to Eechow

Nerk? Geek? Or Dork?

Your Score: Pure Nerd

52 % Nerd, 34% Geek, 26% Dork

Finally My Room Looks More Complete...

思念是一種病<張震嶽>

4 in the Morning - Gwen Stefani

Last Day...Bad Day!

Things Just Don't Feel Right...

Happy 25th Birthday to CK

Always Thought All Factories Mass Produce...

Good Old Pals...

Huh? What Tea?

Last Class Outing of the Year!

Last Friday of the Year!

02S75 Rocks!

So, There's a Hidden Meaning to My Birthdate?

It's a Wet Christmas!

Laborer Once More!

Happy Happy Birthday to You!

...Almost 9 Years of Friends!

It's All Your Fault!

You're the Star!

Vegetarian? Maybe Not...

Laborer Extreme

Christmas Present for Myself

非你莫属《Tank》

为你写诗《吴克群》